Trying to figure out this "grown up" thing
I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I updated this blog; a lot has happened since then!
Tums is almost a year and it’s been so crazy seeing her grow and learn how to be a human! Blogging wasn’t a high priority in 2019, at all. Which has been the first year since 1999 that I didn’t regularly blog and it’s just weird to look back on. Or not since there isn’t anything to look back on.
Well, kinda.
It’s the 9th day of 2019 BUT HEY ANYWAY.
I’ve been trying to force myself into productivity but being as I just hit my 3rd trimester with this pregnancy… I’m constantly just tired. Which is no good cause this year is gonna be BUSY. And the weeks left until Baby Lo gets here? B U S Y.
So I need to get my ass in gear!
2018 started off a bit sad — we lost the first Baby Lo at the end of 2017.
But 2018 was overall a fun year. Despite not being able to travel but we went on so many fun adventures! I have so many fun memories to pick from that fitting 12 photos was so hard!
This year tested Bubba and I’s relationship more than the rest of the 2 years had and I absolutely admire through those two huge fights we had this year that he never once made me feel like I was crazy or that I was overreacting or that my feelings weren’t valid. I appreciate that he listened to me bitch him out for as many days as I did and that at the end of it it all; he made moves and he made choices to make the situation better and he does everything he can to make sure my anxiety has nothing to say. That effort alone goes above and beyond anything I have ever experienced and I’m always so very thankful for him.
Of all the gift sets/holidays of 2018, I think Valentines Day had some of my favorite items while Easter was my favorite theme!
I got these two beauties!
The metal figs set on the left is one of my favorite figures, period. I love the weight of these items and I love the way Aurora looks. Maleficent as a dragon has always been my fav, period.
He also gifted me the Poison Apple perfume that I had no idea even existed on the right. It smells like D-Street for starters (one of the first Disney locations I ever worked at) and I have a super sweet spot for Poison Apples (I also worked at Candy Cauldron).
I love how every gift he gives me has so much thought in it.
If I had to rate 2017 on a scale it would probably be a 9/10. Overall, it was a pretty great year and it was one of the best years I’ve had in a really really long time.
I’ve gathered almost 80 photos for this post, but I’ll try to cut that down as much as I can. Though as I’ve said before, this blog is primarily used as an archive for myself 🙂
Seven days in and I’m already slacking!
Goooooooosh.
This year my #onelittleword is [ g r o w ].
And I have a lot of growing to do. As hard as that is to say. But the truth is, the last two years have been a huge huge mess. And I have a lot to think about and a lot of rediscovering to do within myself.
I’m usually really good at coming up with goals and resolutions for the upcoming year in November. That didn’t happen this time around and I’m struggling with not being disappointed with myself.
2016 was a really hard year. I wish I had recorded more of the hard part just so years from now I can look back and say I can’t believe I picked myself up from that. Depression and struggle use to be my driving force to write. It was my therapy my whole childhood. Why did that stop now? Because the subjects and topics were too controversial? Because I was afraid of offending people? Because people are less understanding and less forgiving when they don’t know the situation? At the end of the day their opinions don’t sleep in my bed or dictate my life. I use to be this blunt, straight forward, idgaf kind of chick and I loved that about myself… then I got scared. And people shouldn’t change who you are, no matter WHO they are.
What do I hope to accomplish by the end of 2017?
Growth.
Mostly.
I don’t have any extreme goals like I normally do. And I’m sure I’ll add more goals as I think of them. I’m trying to be more realistic about my goals and I’m trying to learn to trust the process as much as I don’t enjoy it.
So here’s to making more memories at 2017.
Finding more joys.
Discovering more favorites.
And growing.
2016.
Wow.
Me and you WordPress have been in this for 5 years.
Insane.
I usually have this insane burst of creativity to goal make until my finger falls off when New Years comes around. This year I’m kinda just… whatever happens, happens. I didn’t even partake in my usual traditions last night. Mostly because I was tired by 9pm and already ready to go to bed (is this what getting old feels like?!) but Nick wanted to stay up until midnight, which of course he did because he can’t sleep anyway.
So we played Mortal Kombat and watched the countdown go on. He got out the sparkling apple cider and the fancy glasses. When midnight struck we took pics then kissed haha. Then I went over to snuggle Sophie and give her kisses too.
She’s now sleeping in her cat bed next to me. It’s been awhile since she’s slept in her cat bed, and next to me. She’s been kicked out of the bedroom because she decided to take a kitty stand and pee AND poop on the bed. In the covers. To which I did not discover until after I had taken a shower and was curled up in bed. Also, I did not notice that she had pooped on my sleep shirt I was wearing either.
Great aim Sophie Bear, great aim.
I’m still trying to figure out what’s stressing her out and causing her to act out.
I made one of these last year too. A much angrier version.
But instead of doing “resolutions” this year, I’m doing goals and of course #onelittleword again because I kinda like the idea.
This years word is Focus.
Nick likes to remind me everything that I’ve accomplished and endured in 2015. Saying that I did great and that I did more in one year than he could ever imagine. But yet it doesn’t feel enough. I didn’t cross anything off my list except for adopt a pet. Oh and I graduated. But I didn’t read more than 10 books (out of the 50-60 I usually aim for), I didn’t learn to make Macrons or Marshmallows or plushies.
My word for 2015 was Rediscover and I think I did a good job of keeping that word in mind through out the year.
So some of the key points of 2015?
Thank goodness my life would never suck so hard I would have to leave the country just to survive. Sometimes I make some really shitty choices. Like who to date/marry.
I have a list of goals I hope to achieve this year (in other news…) and though this isn’t the complete list, it’s some of the more important goals.
I need to work on purging some stuff and organizing my stuff much more better. This clutter is starting to really get on my nerves.
The fact that I’m no longer on Zoloft is amazing. I mean, I still get anxiety and I still get that kind of anxiety where it feels like someone is stabbing you in the chest and twisting slowly but my anxiety isn’t half as bad as it use to be. I’m very lucky. The withdrawal only took about 3 months to pass too.
So here’s to a new year waiting to be filled with new accomplishments and new adventures!
Happy New Year!
I haven’t done resolutions in awhile just because… I don’t know. I wanted to do #onelittleword last year instead and I did which I think I did fairly well sticking to.
The word was Happiness. And basically I would do whatever made me happy. Of course it’s not that simple… but I think in the end of it all, I did what I had to do to be happy which was my journey to a healthier mental state. Of course there are things that heavily also contributed to this but I like to think everything happens for a reason and perhaps this whole… crap that went on last year in my life was some sort of blessing in disguise. Of course realizing your husband and main for the last ten years is a pile of shit who has no interest at all in respecting you also sucks but hey, at least I know now and not another ten years from now when we have kids. Cause then I would really be mad.
So this year my #onelittleword is simple Rediscover. No I don’t have a solid idea to what I even mean by that but I have an idea I suppose. Enough of an idea to probably lead me to where I need to be. It’s a bit more fun this way too, discover as I rediscover. Yeah. Anyway, I haven’t really thought of any solid resolutions besides read 50 books this year instead of 30 and try to keep my eyes on the goal and stay positive.
I also need to start cleaning this place up and slowly start packing stuff up. This is gonna be a bitch. A bitch of an adventure!
Here’s to 2015 and all the adventures, experiences, changes and challenges that await me! And to finally getting out of Florida!
So, it’s 2014.
Anyone else think that it’s sort of strange?
I was looking over my last years resolutions and I’m happy to say I completed most of them; I didn’t manage to read 60 books, but I read around 35 which is still good for someone who was in the Disney College Program and worked doubles twice a week. I took and edited a bunch of pictures… I just didn’t post them. I did not craft, I wanted to but I just never got around to it. I didn’t bake at all this year but I did learn how to cook! I sort of got a massage, I got a facial that came with a mini shoulder massage for my birthday and I loved it! I did learn a bit of French. And I did do some relaxing.
This year, I’m not going to write a resolutions list. I know, for the first time ever I’m committing the following year with no guideline list. Trust me, it’s scary.
But I will have a word that I will try to follow through out the year and I will have a set of goals.
So my 2014 word is —- Happiness.
Simple right? If it makes me happy, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t. I find happiness something that’s hard to achieve and it shouldn’t be! I’m turning 29 this year and I want to be happy. I want to be okay with my life, even if it’s not exactly where I want it to be. I want to learn how to be okay with it all. Yeah being an adult sucks and bills suck and debt sucks and not having a well enough paying job that provides health benefits suck but instead of sulking on how much everything sucks, why don’t I try harder to see the positive in things? Why don’t I try harder to realize that this is where my life is and until I change it, it will stay this way? And I don’t mean that in a “this is your fault” kind of way but more of a “you are not a tree, MOVE” kind of way. If that makes sense.
So, my goals for 2014 aren’t anything too extreme and I’m calling them goals because if I don’t complete them, my life isn’t over.
This is also the first year where I’m not challenging myself to read 50+ books in the last 3 years. While I’ve had fun trying to complete that challenge, this last year has shown me that even if I do read 30 books, I only really enjoyed 3 of them. So instead of racing everyone else in the book blogging community, I want to get back to reading books for fun. I mean I’ll still do blog tours and promo stuff but I want, for the majority of the time, to read books that I want to read no matter what the hype or release date is.
You’d think that someone with OCD would be SUPER organized right? No. Not I. I have a hoarding problem and though it’s not as bad as it use to be, if you take a look at my living room you’ll wonder wtf is even happening. So yes, I need to tidy this because I can’t use the “oh we just moved in excuse” anymore since that happened 5 months ago.
This is probably one of the most ambitious goals I have for myself this year. But I really want to get into the swing of posting vlogs and videos and learning how to edit better with iMovie and learn how to edit with Final Cut X.
I got this from an article and I thought it was cool. Living in Orlando I haven’t ventured outside of Orlando because man… these tolls! But I really want to see Tampa and Winter Park and a few other places.
I bought a slow cooker recently and I have no idea what to do with it. Our first project was a fail so I’m hoping to learn how to make something better!
I started couponing last year (so crazy to think that yesterday was last year) and I’m getting better at finding good deals but I think I can do better!
Believe it or not, hubby and I don’t have a savings account. Like, literally. At all. And I think at this age, that’s kiiiiiinda… bad. So while money is already tight as it is, we need to figure out a way to start a savings account!
And the next few are just usual ones that I don’t really count as goals because they’re something I strive to do everyday anyway.
Despite all this stuff, my ultimate goal this year is to learn and to be happy. So if I at least achieve that, I’ll feel accomplished!
What are some of your goals this upcoming year? Do you do resolutions?
s t u c k inthis l i f e 