Send her roses, just because…

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I guess it’s no secret that tomorrow’s Valentines Day. Growing up, I wen through phases with Valentines Day. I was bitter for never getting those secret Valentines Day packs they pass out in middle school. I think I sent one to myself once, cause I wanted the candy. It wasn’t until high school (and still boyfriend-less) that I didn’t mind it so much, I had friends that loved me. They gave me hugs all day long and told me I looked beautiful that day. Who needed a temporary boyfriend when you had friends that would be there forever? So thank you, to those friends (one who is still my best) that made me realize that love from your friends are worth so much more than a significant other.

I may or may not also use the day as an excuse to spoil myself.

Now that I’m older and married (and I finally have a Valentine on Valentines Day!), it’s still not a big deal. I really didn’t miss out on much. But sometimes I can’t help but be a little jealous. My husband has never given me roses, ever. And I sort of feel like my chance to be wooed with roses and a romantic dinner is over. True, I was never really that girl who wanted that stuff, but sometimes it would be nice to just feel like someone you bust your ass for everyday appreciates you. I’m tempted to send myself roses, but I think that would just make me feel even lonelier.

While I try not to make a big deal on Valentines Day, I can’t help but feel like the spirit of my favorite holiday is sucked out this year (man this is turning into a really depressing entry fast). I hinted to my husband somewhere I wanted to go and that we should go before Valentines Day since we start school on Valentines Day and despite the multiple hints, he didn’t set reservations. Mostly because he was too busy playing his online game with his new friends. So I guess right now, I’m feeling replaced and taken for granted a little. I don’t expect him to make my favorite holiday special, I think that’s a little unfair, it’s not his job. Even if he is my husband. It’s my favorite holiday because I spend the day with myself, reminding myself how awesome I am. But that little part of me feels like my husband should too.

Wow, talk about not making sense, right?

I sort of wish I was still in high school, boyfriend-less and looking forward to getting hugs and compliments from my best tomorrow instead of him being half way across the country.


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