Last weekend I was in a great deal of physical pain. Lots of aches and cramping and a 3 week late period and I was just on the edge. I was not in the mood to find out if some demon spawn was growing to ruin my life. Thankfully there wasn’t one. But the pain I felt last weekend was nothing like I’ve ever felt before! OMFG.
I spent the rest of the week at home resting and trying to ease these headaches. Today’s I kinda brought on myself, but luckily it’s nothing Ty PM can’t fix. I’ve also been a little depressed all week, which is weird, I don’t remember the last time I was depressed… I forgot how much it sucks.
I’ve been working through books for review and giving up on a few of them. I’m still in a reading funk (the good news is it’s shallow and not deep like before!) and I’m trying to ween my way out. I really think I’m just tired of the same ol’ stuff in YA (young adult). Same ol’ emo characters with some sort of paranormal aspect they weren’t aware of. Well I guess I can’t say that’s true… you can use the same tired plot but if your characters stand out — that’s what really makes it worth reading. In my opinion anyway.
But really, would it kill some of these characters to stop being so pessimistic? Okay sure you can slide into peoples minds, but really, you don’t understand why it happens or how to control it, but why be mopey about it? Sure it’s kinda creepy and no one would believe you, but man… being in your head was sooo depressing!
I’m a little irritated at myself to say that I spent all week at home and didn’t get any cleaning or purging or anything besides laundry done. Sure I was suppose to rest and relax but COME ON it’s me. I’m obsessed with making everyday count.
Got into a bit of an argument with M last night (see, we’re not perfect). By bit I mean I was so pissed off I kicked my laptop off the bed (okay so maybe I’m a little crazy. By a little, I mean a lot) over something that wasn’t (but was) all that serious. Like I previously mentioned, I miss being ME. The me was so self confident even when she probably had no right to be. The me who would walk out the house thinking she was the shit. The me that was never jealous. I’ve never been scared to lose someone. I’ve always had my guard up. I was never irreplaceable, you were.
But no. Now I’m back to being that insecure 13 year old that thinks ifI lost him no one in their right mind would want me. And it’s not saying anything about M, just how my thought process works and it sucks. It sucks because it’s not suppose to work this way. I was never suppose to let my guard down, ever. I just wasn’t. I controlled my life. I controlled my feelings. Not no one else.
And sometimes that fairy tale romance sweeps you away and throws all your damn logic out the window.
In happier news, I’m on the auto approve list for McMillian on NetGalley (whoohoo)!