Reflecting

Sometimes things fall apart…

… so better things can fall together.

When life gets too be too rough and I feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing anymore, I think of this quote. Because who’s to say it’s not true? Things can go to shit, but life always always fixes itself, you just gotta be patient. And be willing to snatch it up when it comes along.

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time looking back. And it’s funny cause now that I’m older, I’m looking back at me looking back. Funny how that works, right? As I got older, I learned to let go of my past almost completely and worry about now and the future. But recently, I’ve found myself looking back. Searching for something I think I’ll find archived under “my life” folder in one of my older emails.

But there’s nothing new there to find.

And I need to accept that.

I have been lucky enough to know some of the most loving and amazing boys a person could ever have in their lives, especially growing up. There are so many times that I would come crying to them and every time they would assure me I’m not crazy (well, some of them did anyway… the others assured me that I WAS crazy but that it was a GOOD thing lol), thathe didn’t deserve me anyway and that anyone who would let me go was an idiot (including the ones who did, who were giving me this advice… life is funny sometimes that way).

And I just. I don’t know where I’m going with this. I had an end point and you know, sometimes when you write, that end point changes. Don’t you hate that? Ruining my punch line man.

But the point is, thank you. To those boys who sat with me for hours upon hours, days upon days, who grabbed a pillow cause “this is going to be a long night”, who assured me I am beautiful even though they really didn’t have to, and especially to the ones who are still there, who haven’t given up on me yet.

You guys are my ♥. No, seriously. (:

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