The *need* to create

I’ve never been a creative person, ever.

As a kid I wasn’t the artist in the family, my brother was. No matter how hard I tried and pretended and believed in myself (even now as an adult), drawing isn’t my nitch. I wish it was, I think that would be awesome, but it’s not.

But writing? Writing I can do. And do well. In fact, I think it’s the only thing I can do well in my life. That’s sort of a lie… I can shop really well too and I now can paint my right hand (maybe people who said all it takes is practice is on to something…)! But in all serious-ness, I’m the writer in the family.

And for a good portion of my life (back when blogging was simple and the internet was less creepy), writing WAS my life. Everyday I’d jot down little idea’s to blog about through out the day. Jot down little quotes I came up with. Jot down lyrics. Anything! I was ALWAYS with a pen in my hand and a notebook in my purse/bag. Always!

These days, not so much. I think I moved on from a lot of the things in life that were bothering me growing up and with that I sort of moved on from writing. I’m one of those tortured soul peoples. I can’t create to the best of my ability unless I’m on the point of suicide.

No, seriously.

It’s crazy right?

I’m getting a little off topic here…

With last year and the ZEROOOO free time I had, I decided to make this yearcrafty year! Well not like, officially or anything but in my mind! I declared it crafty year. Yeah. I’m slightly stepping away from my book blog (my babyyy) to invest more time into exploring things I’ve unintentionally put aside. My writing. My tendency to take too many pictures (I’m not photographer). My curiosity to craft (like crochet and felties). My graphic designing (it’s depressing when I stare at a font and I don’t know it’s name, it use to be a game I played with myself — and won). My web designing (CSS you will NOT defeat me!).

And I want to spent more time with food. Like, real time. Like real legit time.

I want to go wine tasting (even though I’m super picky and ignorant). I want to go cheese tasting (I loves me some cheese, but I’m scared to venture out into the more real cheeses). I want to blog about my adventures in food in the San Francisco bay area because as much as I dislike this place, I can’t even deny it. We have some kick ass food here. And I want to record it. I want to talk about it. I want to share it!

So I decided to. I also decided to do a smash book on my adventures (:

I also decided to do all the other things. Because to me, not writing and not even attempting to create… it’s depressing. It makes me feel empty and hallow. It’s not me. I’m always creating something. And to stand here and not? It’s painful guys, literally.

And since only I can change my life, I decided to.

Join me? (:

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