Tired of being angry…

I’m a pretty angry person, I always have been. Sometimes it gets really bad, to the point where I’m burning bridges and hurting people — with no remorse. Sometimes my emotions can really drive me to do mean and stupid things and I wish it didn’t.

Then there was a time when I wanted to be surrounded by positivity, I wanted to see the positivity in everything and everyone. I was tired of being angry, let’s face it. It takesso much energy! And I was happy, for awhile.

But it makes me wonder; who am I? I read this meme on Tumblr that said “don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore” but is it really that simple to really change who you are? Through out a year I change an awful lot, but deep down inside I can still feel that neglected angry girl who hates everyone and it bothers me. I don’t want her around anymore but how can I change that? Just because I didn’t grow up happy doesn’t mean I can’t be happy, right?

Everyday is a choice. It’s your choice. You could wake up feeling like crap but convince yourself today is going to be the best day ever! Or you could just be grumpy and miss out on the beauty of a day you’ll never get back.

I’ve been so stressed out while I’ve been here in California. I’m being reminded why I decided to leave, and even though your heart will call for home, sometimes your heart really doesn’t know what it’s talking about. It’s hard for me to wake up and see the beauty in every day while I’m here, but I do try. I don’t want any more days to go to waste.

So with his blog, I’m telling all of you, I plan to try harder.

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