Anxiety at its worse!

Sometimes I get into these fits, where I get a little twitch of anxiety and I feel like beating someone in my face. Strange, right? It’ll be a really strong urge for like, a second. I’ve never actually done it though, for the first half of the second I feel compelled then the other half I think about how strange it is.

I haven’t been blogging lately because well, it’s been cold and typing with frozen fingers was never my strong point. But I figured today, today I better say something.

It was STORMiNG yesterday and especially last night. Like windy/rain beating down storming for HOURS and yet no sign of thunder or lightning. That’s NorCal for you! You would think I wouldn’t mind it so much after living in Orlando during hurricane season but I don’t know, it was borderline scary and cool.

I use to be terrified of rain storms as a kid. Completely terrified! I hated thunder because it shook the house and I never understood how my grandpa could be sitting on the couch calm, reading the newspaper while I was bawling my eyes out. HELLO, THE WIND IS GOING TO KNOCK THE HOUSE DOWN! “It won’t,” he says. It didn’t. Then again, not much scared my grandpa. He hated it when I cried, said it made me look ugly and I look prettier when I smile. Not something you saw to a bawling 4 year old but I think about it every time I cry. Thanks grandpa. I miss him. I wonder what wise words he would say to me now.

My mom tried to put my dog to sleep — again. For the third time. I’m not sure I want to talk about it here. Just that I’m utterly upset and angry. I made a new LiveJournal and I totally vented about it there. Also, I’ve missed LJ.

I managed to finish the book I had to read for a blog tour even though my copy was formatted strange and cut off paragraphs but it’s cool, I got the gist. A whole ‘nother stack of books to read by the end of the week.

That’s pretty much it… it’s cold and I’m upset. So I’m going to go crawl in my covers and read.


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