Hello, Reflecting

Feb 28th, 2008

I don’t know if I can write this post without crying.

Is that silly? It’s been ten years. TEN YEARS. And I still get really sad and weepy.


Man, why did I edit photos to be so tiny back in the day.

Continue reading “Feb 28th, 2008”

Hello, Travel

Valentine’s Day at Disney World


I wish I had taken more photos during this time of year all the years I lived in Florida/Disney World but to be honest I only got to go to the parks once the whole time I lived there and I didn’t even get to walk around or really do anything so yeah, that sucked. But I did manage to snap this photo of hearts on the castle, this was back in 2013 by the way.


There was also a time when Candy Cauldron did customized apples, white chocolate with sprinkles were my fav. Last time I went there last April they said they didn’t do custom apples anymore. It was a sad sad day.

I don’t know what it is about seasonal sprinkles but they seriously make the treat that much more festive and enjoyable!


Overall Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween and Fourth of July treats at Disney are probably my favorite time to see Goofy’s Candy Co at Disney Springs just bursting with colors and different treats of all kinds. I do love how around Valentine’s Day the Minnie apples and cake pop’s come out!


The ones to the right were literally a pain to get a photo of because of the damn glare. But you can see the cutie cake pops next to the apples and I think those are better, personally.

I wish I could remember if we had Valentine’s Day themed treats when I worked at Candy Cauldron in 2011, but I honestly don’t remember at all. Working at a Disney candy shop though is a special kind of magic and if I’m being honest, my favorite kind of magic besides working in The Tree of Life and in Fantasyland.


I’m also slightly obsessed with Minnie and kind of always have been — at least since I first worked at Disney in 2011. I love that she wears an oversized bow. I don’t know what it is about that but I just love it! And plus she’s always decked out in pink and the world girly describes her.

Sadly I didn’t get one of these apples the day I snapped this photo and I didn’t get to go back as often as I’d like to so I never got to grab one. I was a little hesitant to be honest, as much as I loved my apple sliced I didn’t want to mess up the prettyness of this apple and it’s not like I could be like, “hey can I take a couple hundred photos of this outside THEN can you slice it?!” okay they WOULD slice it if I had asked and if I had done that, I know I did it for other people. The request really is not that crazy.

Huh, I don’t know why I didn’t get one!

But next time I’m in the parks around this time of year I’ll MAKE SURE to grab one!


And just in case you needed proof — here’s a photo of when I use to prop my hair up so I could pin a bow to it like Minnie does, I don’t know how I got my bangs to part so nicely that day or how the heck the Pixie Dust looks like highlights but I freakin love this photo!

I’m also one of those people who stop by Sir Mickey’s at Magic Kingdom or the Bibbity Boppity in World of Disney to get covered in Pixie Dust. It’s my happiness, what can I say? My first Disney College Program apartment literally had glitter everywhere. It was awesome.

Have you been to the Disney parks around this time of year? What’s your favorite thing to do or your favorite treat?


Hello February!



Is it Spring yet?

I mean I’m sneezing like crazy like it’s Spring. It’s not 11* every night anymore (thank goodness) and all the pinks and reds of Valentine’s Day is definitely coming together.

I’m pretty excited for this time of year! I love Spring and despite my past depressing Valentine’s Day’s and Easter’s they’re still some of my favorite holidays. It’s hard to be upset when the weather can be damn near perfect and there’s so many happy and pretty colors everywhere!

I don’t have that many goals to complete this month as I already feel overwhelmed as it is with all the goals I’m trying to complete on a week to week basis; I think I’m going to cut some down and try to pace myself instead of trying to “make up for lost time” because then I just get stressed and I push things off even further which in turn ends up just depressing me.

So here are some things I do hope to accomplish this month;

⇢ Read 3 books (to stay on track with my Goodreads goal)
⇢ Film/write reviews for the 2 books I finished in December
⇢ Post some sort of blog entry from now until Valentine’s Day
⇢ Prep posts/videos for Easter and Spring
⇢ Attempt to cook ONE new thing
⇢ Catch up on animes
⇢ Start watching a new TV show
⇢ Organize clothes and bins
⇢ Organize closet
⇢ Organize bookshelf

February isn’t a very long month either so, whomp! Hopefully my shorter list will inspire me to attempt to get more things done this month, we’ll see!

What are some things you’re looking forward to this month?

Hello, Reflecting

Hello Spring \o/

Shut ya mouth, it’s Spring.

There was a Silverfish spotted on my wall — IT’S SPRING.

I’ve been sneezing my ass off for weeks — IT’S SPRING.

Bitch it ain’t 11° every night here in Texas — IT’S SPRING.


Also Valentine’s Day is rolling up way too fast! I have SOME blog posts in the works and SOME I’ve thought of writing but I definitely don’t have 14 of them hoes and I need to. Wtf was I doing all end of January. Oh. Stressing, that’s what. Pffft.

Continue reading “Hello Spring \o/”

Hello, Reflecting

Today was suppose to be your announcement…


Today was suppose to be the happiest day for me; it was suppose to be the day I announced your life.

Which won’t happen.

I have counted down to this day since I found out I was pregnant on November 12th. I stopped counting Sunday’s once it hit 12 weeks. There’s nothing left to countdown to.

I don’t even know why I’m blogging; I wanted to say something but now that I have this open I don’t know what to say — what would I say to you if you were still here? Would the things I want to say still apply? No, they wouldn’t.

I keep crying about the fact that you’re gone, that we never even got the chance to see you or hear your heartbeat. I mourn the fact that you were the easiest pregnancy I’ve had and I’m heartbroken to not be able to see what kind of person you ended up being. Or not seeing what you’d look like, or who you’d look like more.

I mourn the fact that me and you daddy spent months even before you were here talking about who you’d be, what you’d like. We talked about what would be the first book we’d read to you. What would be the first Disney movie we’d have you watch. What kind of Disney vacations we’d have with you. Holidays. Birthday’s. We talked about almost all of it. And when you got here we were so excited about you and we were so happy to have you here.

And it sucks that the choice to keep you sometimes isn’t up to us. That sometimes blessings don’t stay. Things and people we wait for get lost.

I’ll always mourn that you’re gone and I never even got to see you. Despite your daddy constantly reminding me you’re not gone — not even a little bit. He helps me keep the memory of you alive. I wish you could had met your daddy, he loved you long before you got here and he waited for you.

We’ll always miss you. Always. And we’ll always keep you with us. Always.


Loss is a part of life, blessings are too.

Physically I’m feeling a lot better, but at my last appointment they told me that a pregnancy test can still come up positive for up to a month after a miscarriage so I’ll have to go back next month to take a follow up test even though they tested the “clot” I had brought in and confirmed it did have traces of a fetus.

I hate that there’s no REAL reason why miscarriage happens, how I was so close to being able to announce my pregnancy and be out of the miscarriage woods. I. Was. So. Close. I know that even after the 12 weeks you’re still able to miscarry or lose the baby for various reasons and I never understood why TV and movies and thots down the street make it look SO easy to just pop out babies. Then there’s the rest of us who have to struggle and wonder and endure loss who actually want the kids. And it seems a little bit unfair. Almost cruel the universe would make something this heartbreaking possible. At any moment. When you least expect it almost.

I’m sad for the fact I lost her on Christmas. Literally ON Christmas. I’m sad for the panic I felt and had to set it aside because it was Christmas. I’m sad to everyone else she doesn’t even exist. It almost makes it feel like my pain and mourning shouldn’t exist. Suffering in silence is something I hate with a passion.

I’m sure as time goes I’ll come to terms with it a bit better and I know we’ll always keep her in our memory and in our thoughts.

Losing something that was literally a part of you and losing something you were literally caring for within yourself is such a hard loss to face and I suppose I never realized just how hard of a loss until we lost her. I always thought pregnancy was gross and I still do — the baby kicking part and all of that — but there’s also something incredibly magical and something about it that makes you feel the words “home” and “family” personified.

I’m lucky to have someone as positive and as strong and level headed as Bubba be her father and my partner in my life. I’m so lucky to have his endless support. He’s been my bubble and my rock since all of this happened and I know he will continue to be for as long as I need him to be and for as long as I need to mourn the loss of our baby.

We will be okay, we will heal and we will never forget her.


Hello 2018

I still can’t believe how fast 2017 had just zipped by! Is this a sign of getting old?! Years just pass you by? It’s almost kinda scary!

It’s also been a whole week and let me tell you! I’m so over all these cramps and all this physical pain right now!

This year Bubba picked my {onelittleword} again and this year he picked [ C R E A T E ].

This is going to be interesting!

So the rule is once (or once every two) a week I have to create something. I haven’t really put much thought into just what I want to create yet but there are a few things that have been on my yearly goals list for a few years now, like… making marshmallows, crafting a plushie, crafting a beanie, creating a mood board. And I’m sure there’s maybe 3 other ones but I can’t remember them right now.

So this year will be the year I finally tackle these things.

In addition to that I also have a few other goals I’d like to attempt:

⇢ Attempt to make Filipino dishes
⇢ Attempt to bake something off my Pinterest board once a month
⇢ Work on photography/food styling photography
⇢ Get more into bookstagram
⇢ Practice better beauty/lifestyle flat lays
⇢ Read 36 books
⇢ Meditate/Yoga
⇢ Revamp blogs
⇢ Purge everything that doesn’t serve me
⇢ Reorganize kitchen

There were others but again I can’t really think of them right now. Bubba also has a goals list of this own:

— Catch up/pay student loans
— Finish Batman, Overwatch & DBZ shelves
— Get one new outfit a month for Hazel and I
— Watch a movie every other week
— Finish Autumn’s book
— Play a new game every 2 months
— Go on at least 1 trip this year
— Build credit

There’s a lot of things we want to see and do and accomplish this year and we’re excited to see where this year will take us and what adventures we’ll find along the way!

I’m so thankful for his uplifting attitude and his never ending happy vibe, I don’t know how long I would had been sitting in my dark hole if he wasn’t here to offer the support and happiness to remind me that life needs to keep moving forward even if we’re hurting or even if we’ve suffering, it doesn’t mean you have to stick yourself in a dark box. You can still grieve and you can still mourn while still planning to make the most out of your time and yourself.

So here’s to 2018 and the adventures that are waiting for us ✨.

Hello, Recap, Reflecting

2017 Recap


I’m a little sad this blog doesn’t have more yearly recap’s like this one I did for 2012, I know the last few years have sucked but damn. That bad?!

I tend to do this graphic every year… or I have the last few years but I honestly can’t remember where and if I actually post them! Oh gosh, I should fix that some time soon huh?

This year, though I’ve already recapped it here wasn’t very big on discovering much. At least… not as much as I would had liked. But then I don’t think I’ll ever really be happy with how much I discover since I want to discover ALL THE THINGS.

I’m going to try and copy that blog posts format as well though.

⇢ Favorite Book
I read less than my goal of 36 books this year but I did manage to finish The Lunar Chronicles thankfully! I didn’t find a book I really would consider a “favorite” this year. I did really like Tentacle & Wing but I haven’t written a blog review for it yet but you can find my Amazon review for it here.

⇢ Favorite Movie
I admit I haven’t watched very many movies this year. According to Bubba I only watched 3 in theaters which were Beauty & The Beast, Power Rangers and Wonder Woman. Though if I had to pick, I’d say Wonder Woman was my favorite movie of the year.

⇢ Favorite TV Show
We restarted a bunch of older TV shows like New Girl and Glee and we’ve been watching The Food Network lately while we eat but we started Avatar this year also. I introduced him to Fairy Tail and he introduced me to The Devil Is A Part Timer. There’s also Ouran Host Club. I’d say The Devil Is A Part Timer was my favorite show of this year.

⇢ Favorite Song
According to Spotify Bahala Na by James Reid and That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars were my top 2017 songs lol. But I’d also throw in 2U by Justin Bieber and I Want Crazy by Hunter Heyes is pretty up there.

⇢ Favorite Video Game
I think I played way less games this year than last year. There aren’t any games that stand out — I still played FFXIV but I started slowing down after Stormblood came out and stopped pretty much completely after I moved. I got back on Animal Crossing for awhile but then stopped. So, I don’t know. I guess if I had to say it would be Sims 4 for PS4 cause I could stay on that game forever.

⇢ Favorite Discovery
Caldo de Res and Coconut Milk from El Rancho…. annnnd a bunch of shopping centers here in Texas like Legacy Hall and Clearfork!

⇢ Favorite Makeup Item
The Too Faced Glitter Bomb palette, Urban Decay Naked Heat palette, Victoria Secret lotion in Cloudberry and the Chapstick cube lip balms in Cotton Candy!

⇢ Biggest Achievement 
Getting Julep Ambassador, getting on the Target website with a candle product shot, moving to a different state by myself.

⇢ Favorite Moment
Me: I was gonna ask for a promise ring but I thought that would be lame
Bubba: Why do you need a ring when you already have the promise *kisses my ring finger*

Pretty much every weekend since I’ve been in Texas too.

My OCD backing off when I first moved in. But of course it came back, as it always does. I need to find a trick to get that to stay at some point.

⇢ Favorite App
Besides social media I haven’t really discovered any this year. But I’d probably say Instagram and Pinterest.

My {onelittleword} this year was [ G R O W ] and I was still in the process of healing from various other things. I was still trying to get things together and figure things out. I tired to get myself to discover new things and go to new places and I think given the point in my life where I was at I did pretty damn good and there are moments I made massive progress. Like when I first moved in and my OCD wasn’t AS bad; I didn’t have to wash my hands all the damn time and I was able to put books and stuff on the bed without freaking out. I wonder why it’s like that, it’ll be almost gone when I move to a new place and the moment something stressful happens it comes back. Like wtf. Argh. Also having my own place is nice. Like a place that’s finally JUST MINE.

There were a lot of great things that happened this year and a lot of great things I discovered and a lot of great moments.

I hope to discover more things, more places, more favorites and to be an even better version of myself next year and I can’t wait to see what I’ll discover!