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Oh hai!

I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve updated; I’ve been here in TX for 3 weeks now and I’m having so much fun! 

But because of previous debt with ATT (my ex said he’d return $300 equipment when we moved about a year ago and HE DIDNT so I had a pending payment of $350 with ATT I didn’t know about since I paid EVERY SINGLE BILL, so mad) I wasn’t able to afford to clear it until now so I’ll FINALLY be getting wifi this week \o/

I’m so excited!

The moving process itself was both hard and… no it was pretty hard and stressful which I’ll get into later IN DETAIL once I can hop back on my laptop and actually construct a real blog post 😂!

But the moving company was a bunch of jerks who overcharged me every chance for every small thing they could (I know it’s hard to trust a moving company in the first place and they DEFINITELY don’t make it easy; no matter how chill or “decent” a person is in that industry they’re not worth giving the benefit of the doubt to), my former roommate who never came to get the rest of her shit (but she sure did take everything in my kitchen without hesitation) or pay me back for having to hire cleaners to clean her shitty room and disgusting af bathroom (how do people stand such fuckin filth!) has been blocked for TALKING SHIT ABOUT MY CAT (like really? REALLY?) like everyone was saying fuck the money just block her and move on but yo, that was damn near $90! Fuckin people!! And my AC here was out for a week in 102 weather!

I’m still trying to stay calm and think of the good things; I’m here! I finally got out of shit ass Florida and their shitty people and places! Sophie was getting so much attention at the airport and she hardly gave me a hard time, she also behaved really well on the flight! My Uber driver who took me to the airport bumped himself up to friend status. Bubba’s family likes me. Sophie gained a new family and like 10 new friends in that family. My AC is finally fixed. My OCD hasn’t been as loud or controlling. Bubba has been above and beyond helpful!

There aren’t many formatting options on the WP app lol I can’t text cut or fix the test alignment! Oh well, I guess I’ll do all that as soon as I can get on my laptop!

I’ll see y’all in a few days and I might just “fake post” (as in set the publish date to the date it was suppose to be up) my weekly recap for last week or I might just do a whole monthly recap 🙂 

How has your summer been so far?

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Five Things I Learned This Week

Skinny and Single

Things I learned this week1. If you have an abortion, you are exactly the same as Hitler. Yep, killing one baby is exactly the same as 42 million. Yep, because one dollar and 42 million dollars are the same.

2. Pro-life people will threaten you with death just because you support abortion. Yep, so true, my support of a pregnant 14 year old wanting an abortion is cause for my murder. Totally. It’s entirely logical.

3. If you eat meat, you are also like Hitler. Chickens have the exact same value as people now, did you know that?

4. Vegans get really mad if you mix them up with vegetarians.

5. It is now acceptable to compare law abiding citizens to Hitler. That is suddenly everyone’s go to insult, “you’re just like Hitler.” Am I? Am I really?

Yep, that’s me, just like Hitler….

BONUS: You know what else I learned this week? All…

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Reflecting, Uncategorized

National Suicide Prevention Week

Why is it just a week? Why can’t it be a month?

With the increase of suicides you would think there would be a little bit more talk about suicide prevention or mental health awareness and less about why weed should be illegal. But that’s not how society or the human mind reacts. We follow the media, we follow what our peers say, we follow what we think is “cool” to fit in. To not be the outcast. We strike to be the same instead of being different. Like it’s a bad thing. We adapt other peoples ideas, thoughts and beliefs instead of attempting to find our own.

In the past I have spent a lot of time talking about mental health. Sharing as much of me and my journey as I can. And lately, I’ll admit, I’ve been slacking. My mind has turned into mush and I can’t even stitch together a presentable blog post without scrapping the whole thing and giving up, thus resulting in nothing. So today, screw perfection. Screw presentable, screw everything. I finally feel like writing again so that’s what I’ll do.

I’ve struggled with depression and suicide since I was 13. Anxiety since I was 19. Started therapy at 19. Had a mental break down at 29 and decided to go against my word to myself and take meds. Had a jackass boyfriend at 30 who hated I was on meds and made me quit them resulting in four months of complete torture withdrawal symptoms. Ironically that was just the beginning of series of physical pain I would endure in the next year and a half and that alone should had been a red flag. But that’s another story for another day.

It bothers me that people are so quick to judge those who attempt or commit suicide. Saying they’re selfish. Did they not think of the people who CARE about them that they were LEAVING behind. Did they not think of what would happen AFTER.

No, no they really really probably were not. Because when you’re in that dark ass mind set of doing whatever you can to kill this intense pain surging through your body and fuckin with your head and your emotions all you can think of is MAKE IT FUCKIN STOP. Is it really SELFISH? When you’ve lost all kinds of control and your mind is warping every thought you have? You don’t know what fight they’re fighting in their heads so how could say it’s selfish? How could you say they’re being inconsiderate?

I wish the world would wake the hell up and educate themselves on mental health. On suicide. On depression. On anxiety. ON BEING DECENT FUCKIN PEOPLE. But this is life and this is reality and none of that is going to change any time soon.

Love the people you love hard. Listen when they speak, really listen. You don’t know who’s day you’re making by just doing that.