The months are getting colder, which is exciting!
And the weather has been perfect here in Texas. I’ve missed real Fall’s!
The months are getting colder, which is exciting!
And the weather has been perfect here in Texas. I’ve missed real Fall’s!
Goodbye August, GOODBYE!
2U by David Guetta (ft. Justin Bieber) has been on repeat like all week. I don’t get how it could be BY someone but obviously The Beibz is the only one speaking on this track lol. That part always confused me! I get that it might be David’s beat but Justin’s on it but still, I’m sure you know what I mean lol.
I don’t remember much of this passed week really except for things that happened recently.
Bubba got me this really cool palette from Hot Topic probably the week before and I was playing with it; the colors are SO pigmented! It was $10 but now it’s dropped down to $6 and I WANT THEM ALL!! I had fun playing with the shimmer shades and seeing how amazing they all looked!
I also gave in and decided to start fall early and that usually means burning a Leaves candle \o/ I forget just how freakin strong the scent can get in a small room so it filled up my whole bathroom and made me feel a little sick lol. Yeah, no more bathroom time for you unless I’m not in it! Gahhh. Still bae though.
I also finally tried a face mask and OH GOD. IT STUNG LIKE CRAZY. It said to leave it on for 8-10 mins, UH NO. I took that shit off in 3! Gahhhh damn. And the liquid/bubbles kept getting into my mouth! Ew! It definitely did NOT taste good!
I upgraded my Weaver gear on FFXIV so I could make Bubba this rice hat for his glamour he’s been wanting, I’m glad he finally has a Monk glam he likes, FFXIV has been catering to Samurai’s since the last expansion StormBlood came out and the story for it sucks and so does the gear.
I got lightweight sick and so I decided to try something new — I ordered Clam Chowder and a Chicken Parm Sandwich from this place called East Hampton Sandwich Co and it was SO GOOD. I loved it all! The Chicken Parm reminded me of something I’d get for lunch everyday when I worked at Disney in 2011, I haven’t had that taste in such a long time! It was definitely comforting.
Bubba slept over and gave me and Sophie cuddles to make me feel better since I had trouble sleeping the night before. Sophie obviously took over my cuddle time since she has a habit of jumping ON Bubba to get his attention. Silly cat! I’m so glad she loves him though.
My books from Book Depo came in the mail, I ordered a twisted retelling of Alice and Peter Pan. The covers are what lured me in and I’m a sucker for retellings! The US covers weren’t as nice so I got the UK covers from Book Depo instead. I also got my book for review from Amazon Vine. I miss getting books for review from publishers though, sigh how the internet and marketing has changed since 2009…
This Coconut Milk Tea with Flan from Fruitalicious has been my OBSESSION lately. Like OMG! I cant get enough and the fact I can UberEATS it? So dangerous but so nice. Except that delivery fee — the drink itself is $4 but the delivery fee is also $4 so I end up paying $9 after taxes for one drink. Bubba’s like “you’re not using this whole boyfriend with a car who wants to get you food when you’re hungry to your advantage and I’m gonna need you to start,” lol he’s silly. I love him. But I don’t know if he’d get me boba if I asked lmao!
I fit the 3 Oz books Bubba got me and am just now realizing they’re out of order. Dammit, REDOING THE PICS. RECLAIMING MY TIME! But now I have to somehow fit the whole Wicked series too my mom’s slowly sending me and I don’t know if it’ll all fit… ah, this is gonna be a challenge!
Friday’s are shopping days it seems like lately; we went to my walking plaza so I could show Bubba Anthropologie, then we walked around the and hit Bath & Body Works where he got me two candles: he replaced my Stress Relief one that I burned up all of before I moved and got me a lemon one that I really like. I’m so glad they kept this scent and I’m hoping they keep it year round. He also got himself Autumn (which was stolen by his mom. Dang he can’t ever keep a candle to himself lol). Then we hit Sephora where we looked for the Naked Heat palette but they were sold out! So he got me the Too Faced Glitter Bomb one I’ve been playing with lately instead. For some reason my VIB accounts aren’t showing up on their system, it’s kinda frustrating but they didn’t have anything worth spending 100 points on either anyway.
My mom sent me a package and she included this photo of me and my cousin Rob when we were 17. I think we were on the Ferry to San Francisco when I took this. Man we look suuuuuper young, those were the days!
I also got my tea’s in from Amazon Prime \o/ they released 3 new tea’s it looks like! I can’t wait to try them! I wish I had remembered to pack my tea kettle from my other place but I totally forgot to and left it behind, whomp whomp. So now I have to find a new tea kettle or microwave water like I use to \o/ or maybe I should get one of those steeper things from Teavana… hm.
So Friday night I was in my bubble bath and it started raining, nothing too different. But I heard a clicking sound coming from my sink. It was a weird sound I hadn’t heard before and my mind was thinking it’s a roach in my sink so I stand up and I THINK I see a roach running around in there or SOMETHING and I FLIP OUT. I get out of the bath, didn’t even dry myself, step outside, shut the door and call Bubba saying he needs to come check my bathroom. So Sophie kept me company while I was freezing my ass off waiting for Bubba to get here lol! He went in and checked everywhere; the sink, the area around the sink, the counter, under the counter, the laundry room, the closet, the bedroom… and nothing. There was nothing. I tried to calm down and go back to my bath but I was so still slightly paranoid I didn’t feel like being there. Though to be fair — I did take two sleeping aids and I was tired and drowsy by the time he showed up. So he thinks my tired mind just hallucinated it. I mean we didn’t find anything so… 😦 though now a few days later I’m still wondering if I saw anything or if I really DID hallucinate it.
Either way I’ve been working on tidying my room and apartment as much as I can and getting rid of as many boxes as I can in the process. And lighting lemon candles. And doing all sorts of anti-roach things. For all I know, my last apartment coulda gave me PTSD with all the bug issues they had there. Ugh.
My apartment is still lacking some storage and stuff but hopefully more of it will be settled soon… sucks but it is what it is, doing what I can to build a new atmosphere and make things as zen as possible. I’m hoping to start filming again, I keep forgetting to vlog when I’m out and taking pics like I normally do but I also need to clear some memory off my phone too!
So this week I’ll be working on tidying/sorting/planning the zen corner, doing something about all these clothes just hanging out on the floor of my closet that need to be picked up cause UGH messes!, sorting my closet out, getting rid of more boxes and trying to post more.
I also remade my food blog HERE if you’re interested and I remade my book blog HERE. I wanted to move away from blogspot for a bit. My lifestyle blog is still there and I hate the way it looks and feels. But I would have to migrate that shit to a wordpress.org and I hear that gets headache inducing though it probably would be better to do it sooner than later since having it be on blogspot makes me almost not want to post and that’s not helpful to anyone tbh. I might migrate/redo my mental health blog which is right HERE for now, I haven’t updated it in some years but I want to start again — maybe. Or maybe I’ll just talk mental health and zen on hazearella, I DONT KNOW. But I do know my food and book blog are starting over. Whew.
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a weekly recap. Mostly because nothing really interesting happened besides a whole lot of bullshit, stress, packing and trying to figure shit out. I was hoping to make a documented vlog and blog series of the moving process and packing process but then I figured I’m setting myself up for people to see how laggy I can be and like I said I was going through a bunch of bullshit and stress that were making me sick and giving me migraines so half the time I wasn’t really in the mood to even talk.
I should stop letting other people and their crap bother or impact me and my energy simply because they’re not worth my time or energy.
You live and learn. And build walls. Lots of walls. And never let anyone in. Ever.
Let’s pretend today’s Sunday, yeah?
This weekend was… kinda awful and anxiety inducing. Actually the whole week kinda was. I’ve had issues with bugs making their way into MY BEDROOM which is not cool; I hate bugs. Like, I hate them, they scare the shit out of me. I had 2 roaches, a random beetle and TWO FUCKIN WASPS make their way into MY BEDROOM. Apparently there was a gap or something in my window frame that was allowing them to come in. Like, what the fuck. Which is weird because I live on the THIRD FLOOR and I’ve been here for ELEVEN MONTHS and I’m just now having this problem?! Like, what changed? Wtf? It’s so weird and crazy! Like, WASPS? REALLY? What are they doing this close to a building? There’s no tree’s in front of my window. There’s nothing, it’s just a freakin parking lot out there so I’m totally confused. Anyway, maintenance came and fixed it but I feel like it’s not totally fixed, but I’m also paranoid, so there’s that.
I should post more than just Weekly Recap’s here but sometimes I just don’t know what to say. Daily blogging use to be my thing, my release, my therapy. Even if I had nothing to say, I’d just talk. Maybe I should do that again, it helped me a lot when I was growing up to deal with my problems and find answers or to help me understand that some things just don’t have answers.
This week wasn’t all that eventful; I didn’t leave the house for one. I don’t want to be tempted to spend money since Bubba and I have a big vacation planned coming up (and quick)! So I’ve just been handling some stuff with the new place, bills, trying to some how get ready for the move and figure out how social media works (cause it’s a never ending learning experience).
I’m a bit of a blind box addict (thanks Disney World job and D-Street and Vinylmations!) and that Hopper up there is something I’ve been chasing for about if not over a year now. I’ve gotten pretty much everyone in that collection about 2 or 3 times EXCEPT FOR HOPPER. I don’t know why! But it’s definitely driven me crazy once or twice. When I was in Texas and I told Bubba about this he immediately searched for it on Amazon and had it shipped to me! I finally got him and I couldn’t be happier! Hopper means a lot to me because my last job at Disney was at Animal Kingdom in The Tree of Life with the It’s Tough To Be a Bug show and Hopper was always my favorite part of the show. Every morning when we would make sure everything was good before opening I’d always be so excited to see him and the days when Hopper wasn’t working were very sad and boring work days!
I also got the package that Bubba sent that was the stuff I couldn’t pack in my luggage when I got home — this boy. He spoils me so much that I actually have to ship a box back home every time I see him. SIGH. But every single thing he gets me is something thoughtful. I forgot I had put my Tsum Tsum Pastel Parade’s in there so I was super excited to see them again… and also the Hot Cheetos with Lime that were lining the box. And the World of Final Fantasy guide. And my Beauty and the Beast music box. And BATB plushies. I didn’t take pic of all that was in there but I should had! Maybe piece by piece I will :).
I know I’m suppose to be doing my weekly recap but this week has just been… kinda awful.
My apartment has been taken over by fruit flies? House flies? I don’t even know but they’re fuckin everywhere and driving me fuckin nuts. My roommate left banana’s to rot on the counter and it attracted what feels like a whole planet of them. They’re all over my kitchen, living room and a good handful in my room.
I hate bugs in my home.
I HATE THEM.
It makes my OCD go CRAZY.
It makes my anxiety act up.
And now I’m dealing with the physical side effects of it all.
And I just want to cry. I just want to bury my head under my pillow, under my blankets and just SOB until I CANT BREATHE ANYMORE.
That might sound dramatic but you tell me how you’d feel when it feels like EVERY SINGLE NERVE YOU HAVE is on edge and you just feel like trashing the whole place and sobbing because your anxiety is driving you fuckin nuts.
I try SO HARD to keep this place as clean as I can and as bug free as I can. I pay SO MUCH damn money for this place and it just ANNOYS me when things like this happen. I’ve incredibly anal about keeping things tidy and prompt and clean and THIS is why I didn’t want a roommate. This is why I NEVER want one. Because I KNOW I can be anal about these things and I know I want things done MY WAY so why bother with disappointment and other people when I already KNOW these things about myself?
I wish I just had moved back to WC. I wish I had never left Orlando in the first place. And I can wish that — a million times for a million days but it’s not going to bring back, replace or erase the things that have already happened and the stupid choices I had already made.
I can sit here and wish that THAT year and a half NEVER HAPPENED as hard as I want to but had it not had happened I would had never found the friends and family I had found on FFXIV. I would had never found Penny. I would had never found the strength I do have now because of it. Despite the price it cost me.
I’m just so upset and so sad right now.
I try so hard to keep this place as clean and as bug free as I can.
I try so hard to keep things tidy within what my anxiety lets me.
I feel like falling apart right now.
I know it’s not my fault and all this and that but it is MY HOME and even if people can’t do their part there’s no sense in getting mad at them or yelling at them about it. It’s just sad that they can’t.
On top of that Nick said earlier this week that he was going to bring my camera and drop it off at the front desk. He hadn’t said anything all week and so I text him today about it and he asks when am I gonna be home then he says that he didn’t bring it and he didn’t drive down to Orlando himself.
THEN WHY DID YOU ASK WHEN I’LL BE HOME. WHY COULDN’T YOU SAY YOU WEREN’T GONNA BE ABLE TO BRING IT THIS WEEKEND AHEAD OF TIME.
WHY ARE PEOPLE SO UGH.
I’m gonna go take a hot bath and try to chill the fuck out for the rest of the night.