What do you mean..? When you nod your head yes but you wanna say no..


Apparently my four year anniversary with this blog was two days ago.

Wow, four years. That’s insane. SO MUCH has changed in those four years. Changed as far as blog posts I post, things I talk about, how often I blog and pretty much everything in my personal life is completely upside down.

Life has a funny way of being funny. Which in reality, life isn’t very funny at all (I’m not laughing). I’ve done a lot of dumb shit in my life and I’ve been through some dumber than dumb shit but this one HAS to take the whole fuckin cake. My ex husband let me know a week ago that he’s dating the girl who ruined our marriage. I knew he was stupid but wow. Ironically this isn’t something surprising as it seems that all my other friends who divorced their high school sweetheart (and there’s a handful of us) is experiencing the same exact thing I am.

Just when you thought you couldn’t feel any MORE betrayed.

It can always be worse.

So yeah, I’m fighting blimps of anxiety here and there. I’ve been so stressed out with all these remaining balances that even though have nothing to do with me I’m still somehow responsible for because my ex husband is a worthless piece of shit that never cared enough to help at all. Most selfish person I know. Maybe not MOST but he’s pretty up there.

In other news I’ve gone back to playing with makeup. The fact that I have a vanity encourages that. I also have a super cute set up. I just need to put things away and figure out where I want things to go. Find a matching dresser, a matching bed frame, and a nightstand and I’ll be all set. I’m hoping to get all this together before Christmas. Just because I don’t dig this in progress shit. I want my place to feel like home… NOW.

Nick and I went ahead and grabbed one of those scent pot things from Yankee Candle. The mess free, fire free wax melter things. We were SO impressed with our starter kit (which is now in my room) that we bought a bigger one for the living room decor that lights up and has a timer. It’s a nice touch and provides a pop to the living room. It’s pretty cozy! I’m heavily debating getting one for the bathroom too just because Sophie (my cat) stinks up the bathroom worse than the humans. That’s pretty bad lol.


IMG_8610Urban Decay Shadow Box with Flash & Black out on lids MAC Heroine ELF Ravishing Rose Sephora Raspberry Punch on lips.

Another thing I’m obsessed with is this MAC lipstick that Nick picked out for me. It’s a rich plum purple color in MATTE (two very scary things) called Heroine. I fuckin LOVE it. It really flatters my skin tone. Today I mixed it with an ELF lippie in Ravishing Rose and a Sephora lip gloss in Raspberry Punch that Nick also picked out to layer on top of the Heroine lippie and I like it. It’s very glossy but not sticky at all and it’s actually kinda moisturizing. I’m enjoying playing with makeup and colors again. Waiting for my hair to grow out because I’m not feeling short hair anymore. It’s harder to style and I have baby monkey hair that’s just not cute. Even if I flat iron it.


Julep Nail Color in Darby


Another thing I’m obsessed with? Julep nail polishes! I know, I know, I’ve been a Maven subscriber for years now and I’m just NOW actually using their polishes?! Why yes, yes that’s true. I started off by using their eyeliner and their lipstick and I fell IN LOVE! So I figured why not try their polishes too? Darby is one of my favorites. It’s a black/dark green base polish with green and gold flecks in it. I’m not going to say it’s glitter because it’s not chunky like glitter is but it does have a nice shimmer! Julep polishes also are easy to remove, don’t stain your nails and they dry fairly quickly. I’ve noticed with the non shimmer shades it takes a few coats for it to turn opaque but I guess that can go for any polish company…  the polishes like Darby however are opaque after one coat. I’m grabbing lots of darker colors and plum colors now since Fall is right around the corner and I’m SO excited!



The significance of November 4th (or the first week of Nov)

Once upon a time there was a girl who fell in love with a boy and though she thought this boy loved her, he probably honestly didn’t. And so on November 4th of 2001 they had a conversation that went like this:

Girl: So what, you want to break up then?
Boy: I don’t know, maybe

Obviously the girl 1) said it as a sort of joke and 2) didn’t like the outcome. So the boy decided at that moment that maybe they should break up though he wasn’t man enough to say it straight out (hence why we’re referring him to “boy”).

Then the boy threw in that they were too far apart (though they had been dating for almost six months at this point) and proceeded to date two girls after her WHO WERE FROM HER HOMETOWN.

Anyway, November 4th was a pretty rough day for this girl for the next few years. Sad and pathetic, I know.

This is a work of fiction. Actually, it’s not. But we can pretend it is. It is my blog after all.

The beginning of November hates me. It’s probably always hated me. Actually it doesn’t hate me but I always tend to have the worst luck with it. Relationship-wise. And sure you can say, “but you’re married now! All of that over!” and yeah, sure, I guess so.

But here’s a little secret. Every two years during the first week of November M and I break up. I don’t know what it is, or why it happens but it happened in 2006 and it happened in 2008 (which spanned an entire month, yes we were broken up for an entire month once. How’s that for perfect for each other?). I was sort of expecting it in 2010, but it didn’t happen and technically it would happen again, around this time but today we’re okay with each other lol. Then again he wife’d me in 2009 and I wonder if it was because he was tired of the tradition of breaking up.

Either way, I just wanted to write a little meaningless entry on crappy stuff. Because that’s what winter does to me — reminds me of crappy stuff. Sometimes lol.