Recap

Weekly Recap; April 1st – April 8th

I got to upgrade to an iPhone 8 (WITH 200+ GIGS OF MEMORY BOIIII) from an iPhone 6S. It’s taking me a bit of time to get use to it. I keep forgetting both sides of the phone are glass. Thus making it slip off of things even more easily.

When I handed the guy my phone at Verizon he took it from me, looked at it and said: “Do you not believe in phone cases or have something against them?” I’ve NEVER had a case on my phone ever since getting the iPhone 4. I had an Otterbox once that broke (and I never even dropped it so how the hell…) and I had a Snow White case when we moved to Disney the second time. But other than that, I DONT have a case on my phone.

I’m not gonna say I NEVER dropped it cause I do, sometimes frequently but even if it lands face down on hardwood floor I have NEVER broken my screen. The only damages I’ve done to my phone was probably water damage. Like, the first iPhone I ever got. But since then I’ve had a pretty good track record of keeping it in mint condition even without a case.

It worries me a little bit that this phone is glass on both sides. But I still don’t have a case, even though Bubba keeps insisting I get one. It’s my OCD, it doesn’t like cases on my phone (or anyone’s phone to be honest) so it makes it hard to find one that my OCD is okay with.

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; April 1st – April 8th”

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Hello, Reflecting

Easter 2016

I literally don’t know why I’m getting anxiety just thinking about writing this blog post. I feel like my blood has run cold and all my nerves are on alert.

I guess just thinking of this day still makes me cringe.

Traditions are very important to me. And I created traditions for myself to enjoy the things I like in life, to have things to look forward to. Because when your life is lonely and your mind can be your greatest enemy the best way to combat that is to have something to look forward to. To have bits of this life that excite you.

Two years ago I lived in Lake Mary, Florida. I moved away from Orlando and it was the biggest and dumbest move I ever made. I was told by the guy I was dating at the time that I wouldn’t be that far from Orlando or Disney and we would be able to go any time.

That was a lie.

I had to fight with him for a week to get to Disney and even when we finally DID go, he would be miserable the whole time and want to leave as soon as we got there. We were an hour away, maybe less. But hell he’d get upset if I said I wanted to go to Krispy Kreme which was ten minutes away. He was the type to expect you to go/do everything HE wanted to do without question yet when I wanted to do the things I’ve ALWAYS done he’d throw a fit and trap me in the house. This was a big thing of his btw, trapping me. I didn’t really notice it until I moved to Lake Mary.

Two year ago today was Easter.

I normally spent Easter at Disney and I had brought up this months before to which he said was fine, we could spend Easter there since he had no real plans. But the day before was saying all of a sudden we couldn’t go and I HAD to go with him to his grandparents house. His grandparents house were we spent EVERY OTHER FUCKIN DAY doing NOTHING but staring at the wall, literally. Not to mention my cousin who I hadn’t seen in year since I moved away from California was going to be in Tampa and he had ZERO interest in seeing her or meeting her — in fact he had zero interest in meeting ANY of my family members including my parents.

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The morning of, he did what he always did.

He firmly stated we WEREN’T going to Disney. Demanded I get dressed and get ready to go with him to his grandparent’s house.

I refused.

I was tired of him gas lighting me. I was tired of him promising to do something then last minute going back on his word then picking a fight with me to shut me up when I’d call him out on it. I was tired of his shit.

So I said no. I wasn’t going. I wasn’t leaving the house if we weren’t going to Disney. That I’m sick of him lying to me.

He walked over to the computer desk where I was sitting.

He picked me up by my throat.

Then he SLAMMED me on the couch wrapping his hands around my throat and screaming at me asking if “I was done acting like a child.” I tried kicking him in his gut, in his face, anywhere to get him off of me. I was screaming for him to get off of me. To let me go. He kept screaming “No. Not until you stop acting like a child.” That was his reason for everything when shit like this happened was the one acting like a child.

He finally let go.

Then he did what he always did afterwards, he sat CALMLY like a fuckin psycho telling me that if I kept acting like this we wouldn’t last for much longer. To which I replied, “put your hands on me again and I promise we won’t.” he laughed. He fuckin laughed. Then patted my shoulder and told me to have a nice day before leaving the house.

I wanted to burn the apartment to the ground.

I stayed in my room with the door locked hiding in my closet and cried for hours. I stayed quiet. I listened for when he’d come back. I made sure I was in bed and ‘asleep’ by the time he came back. I hated being scared. I hated myself. I hated Easter. He ruined my favorite holiday without so much as a fuckin care. I was heartbroken.

Then he had the nerve to come home and hug me like he didn’t just put his hands on me. Claiming he didn’t slam me that hard and to quit acting like a baby. As if slamming your girlfriend anywhere for any reason was fuckin normal. Then went on to claim that I needed his money when he blew all his money on comic book and Hot Wheels.

He didn’t pay rent. He didn’t pay bills. He didn’t pay electric or internet. He didn’t even pay for his own gas or food. He literally didn’t pay for shit. I laughed when he said I needed his money. I never needed his money or him. But in his delusional mind he really thought he was doing some shit for the ‘household’ when he didn’t do shit. He didn’t even pay for the Netflix or Hulu he was fuckin using. And when I would remind him of rent he would again fight with me and the cycle started all over again.

This day however was the first time he picked me up and slammed me. Through out our relationship he would do it again. And again.

And no matter how hard I tired to kick him out. Or break up with him he just wouldn’t get the fuckin hint. He would ignore me. If I could had afforded to change the locks on the apartment and leave all his shit outside I would had. But I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide and no one to turn to. I was stranded in a city an hour away from anyone I knew. And it was definitely scary.

I refused to let this day take away my love for Easter. But every time it comes up, it just hurts to think someone out there thought this was okay.

~*~

I’m thankful I’m out of that relationship. I’m thankful I’m away from all that toxic energy and I’m somewhere far away from there and safe. And around someone who goes above and beyond these days to make sure every holiday is one I’ll love.

Recap

Weekly Recap; March 18th – March 24th

I realized I didn’t write a recap for last last week. Whoops. I don’t know how the hell I just lost track of days like that.

Today I’m a bit tired of being an adult who has to pay bills. Even though I’ve been paying bills since I was 17. Ugh.

I can’t even really seem to remember how this week went.

According to the pictures it was actually kind of busy!

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; March 18th – March 24th”

Review

Candle Review; Bath & Body Works > Some Bunny Loves You

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If you’re like me and you missed out on The Sweet Shop Bubblegum candle then you were probably excited to hear that they came back out with it for Easter but only as a mini candle called “Some Bunny Loves You”.

The scent notes are;

Pink Sugarcane, Juicy Watermelon, Hint of Vanilla

Which ironically fused together do make a prettyyyy strong bubblegum scent! Crazy, right?!

Oh, well, I thought so lol.

I have the bigger version as you’ve seen in my previous blog post but I don’t want to burn it cause it’s the only one I have though I’m SO CURIOUS to know if the bigger one has a better scent throw.

SPEAKING OF.

The scent throw sadly for this small one is pretty… non existent. Which is really sad! On cold sniff it’s SO strong. Like I think if I just left it open it might have thrown it better lol! When lit this doesn’t smell like anything. I don’t know if it’s just the first burn that’s like that, but I haven’t burned it again.

I personally feel like ever since Bath & Body Works stopped working with Slatkin & Co the candles, especially the mini candles don’t have a very strong scent throw anymore. This is also true for some of their other 3-wick candles.

I do love the scent of this — I’ve been super attracted to Bubblegum and Cotton Candy scents for awhile now, I’m not sure what the reasoning behind this is besides that it seems like a happy scent and everyone could use a bit of happy through their days!

I may very well give in and light the bigger one just to see if it makes a difference. I just wish the bigger one wasn’t so hard to track down! I see they have the Lavender Marshmallow, Lemon Drops and a few others still in stock on the site (which I’m thinking of buying another of these also so I can light the ones I have and not feel guilty) but a lot are also missing. Strange.

Have you purchased this mini? Were you able to get your hands on a Bubblegum candle?

Hello, Recap

Weekly Recap; March 4th – March 10th

Welp, I got most of the cleaning done this week that I was aiming for. There’s still some stuff left to do but the desk, kitchen and my bookshelves are done. Granted I want to move around some more stuff around my desk but I just don’t know what or to where. So for now, it’s done.

Buuuut I gotta wait until next week to get my desktop. So, whomp.

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; March 4th – March 10th”

Recap

Weekly Recap; Feb 18th – Feb 24th

I feel like this week just ZIPPED RIGHT ON BY.

But I always tend to feel like that don’t I? Heh.

Bubba made me deal; if I can organize my closet, bedroom, desk and kitchen by the 9th he’ll either get me my desktop or my G7x camera I’ve been wanting FOREVER. Which means I can start vlogging and filming more videos again! I’m so hyped! I’m also so damn spoiled! LMAO. So I’ve been writing some of these blog posts early so I can focus on getting started on cleaning and organizing the rest of the week (cause there’s A LOT to get done)!

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; Feb 18th – Feb 24th”

Reflecting

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?

Today last year was Easter.

I have a super private “blog” app I keep on my phone that I only write in when either something makes me incredibly sad or angry. I hardly post any happy things in there but lately I have been. So there’s been more happy posts and happy screenshots going on. I have a tendency to go back and read these posts as a I wonder what I was doing one year ago today thing. I did this a lot with my LiveJournal’s back in the day too.

Nick had said we’d go to Disney; it has been a thing I do — spend Easter at Disney. But the night before he had stayed up late gaming with his friends like stayed up till 7am gaming as he had been the whole week and weeks before that. Knowing his pattern, him sleeping that late meant he wasn’t going to get up until 3pm the next day and no matter how I asked he wouldn’t put that into consideration.

So when Easter Day came around I was obviously pretty pissed off about it. I remember being upset and tired of this shit — I hate empty promises and I hate liars. It was pretty much a month and a half of pent up irritation.

He walked over, grabbed me and slammed me into the couch pinning me down screaming at me to quit acting like a child. No matter how hard I tried to kick him or if I tried to push him off he would just tighten his grip and keep screaming at me. It gave me a massive panic attack that he told me to get over.

Continue reading “Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?”