How are we MID WAY through OCTOBER already?! The months and the days are passing WAY TOO FAST in my opinion! Though I suppose this time of year does pass a bit quicker than the rest… but still, I’m not done enjoying Fall and Halloween yet! I guess that’s my fault for wanting to start the Christmas celebrations on November 1st instead of on Thanksgiving like my family usually does…
The start of Fall and the start of a string of holiday seasons — the best and most stressful time of the year \o/
My goals list for September failed, as always.
My anxiety has been nagging at me for weeks; ever since I got my stuff finally delivered to me from the move in July. The move, of which I had filed a claim form and they have not responded to in nearly 30 days. What good are moving companies? All they do is screw people over during a very stressful time. And they expect to be treated with respect for over charging and for pulling fuck shit? Lame. Though I’m not sure exactly what this experience has to do with triggering my anxiety for months besides that they lost a bunch of my shit.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother doing these goal lists if I barely ever complete any of them.
⇢ Read at least 4 books for the October challenge
⇢ Decide/prep which NaNoWriMo project to work on
⇢ Post a weekly vlog for Vlogtober
⇢ Post one additional video a week in the spirit of Fall
⇢ Incorporate Blogtober on both hazearella and stuckinthislife
⇢ Bookstagram fav past October reads
⇢ Make bath bombs
⇢ Tidy makeup area in room
⇢ Tidy closet
⇢ Start purging old/unwanted makeup and clothes
⇢ Try 1 new Ramen place
⇢ Try 1 new Boba flavor
⇢ Tidy TV stand in prep for Christmas
⇢ Tidy living room
I want to post more YouTube videos, I want my room to reflect the perfect vlogger look, I want to do all the things I use to be so passionate about like photography, social media, graphic design and alla that other stuff.
Lately I’ve noticed I’ve been more negative and frustrated and angry and all that does is invite more of those negative vibes into my mind and my life.
I want my room and my apartment to be less cluttered and more zen and I want all of this stuff sorted and put away and a home found for them before November! I want my apartment and room to be ready for Christmas and I want to enjoy as much of it as I can. Because I finally can.
I want to be up to date on my Yelp and Amazon reviews and I want to post more on my food blog.
I’m also planning on changing all my instagram feeds to reflect more of me and my life. I love taking product shots and stuff but I also always wished my photos had more of me in them and not just in terms of selfies but me in the places or me trying the food, you know?
I hate being discouraged and I hate letting myself down, but it seems like lately that’s all I’ve been doing and that needs to change. And if I don’t change it then that change will never happen.
So it’s up to me.
I missed last weeks recap and my phone decided to force update and I somehow messed up the pictures on my phone and when I tried to fix it iCloud somehow managed to delete December, all of August, all of September and bits and pieces of other months. So yeah, all my photos are just gone. They’re backed up on my laptop and my Dropbox but as far as looking up the order on my phone, yeah that’s not happening. Which annoys me.
I wish there was a way to restore JUST the photos you took on THAT PHONE. Cause when it tried to “revert” back, I somehow went from 1 GiG of space to 18 GiGs (which has NEVER happened, I’m awful at having space on my phone) and it still has some photos from 2013 restored. Like wtf iCloud?!
The months are getting colder, which is exciting!
And the weather has been perfect here in Texas. I’ve missed real Fall’s!
This entry is a few days later than I had planned for it to be up, and even now I haven’t really spent much time thinking about what I’m actually trying to say lol so we’re gonna wing it!
My anxiety has been on and off kicking my ass lately, some days it’s not as bad as others and other days I just don’t want to do anything but curl into a ball. I want to attempt to challenge myself this month. I read that the only way to ease anxiety such as OCD is to practice something I absolutely hate and scares the crap outta me — exposure therapy. Though not at very high extreme’s.
At the moment my apartment is damn near done with everything being unpacked, I just have to wash a few more blankets and find a home for certain things, then my whole living room needs to me mopped so I can stop wearing shoes inside my apartment and walk around in slippers like I’ve always wanted to. I personally hate wearing my shoes in my apartment but I didn’t figure that there was a reason to go through a shit ton of cleaning if moving in, building stuff and all that wasn’t even done yet. But now that all of that is, I don’t have an excuse as to why I haven’t mopped besides that I have 3 boxes left to be sorted though.
So one of my goals this month is to finish unpacking those 3 boxes and mop my floor.
October is very very close from now and I normally make an October/Halloween reading challenge list. I somewhat failed that last year so I’m hoping to do better this year. Along with that I want to be better at bookstagramming and being more active on my bookish social media accounts because I do really miss that world.
I have a few creative goals I’m hoping to start this Fall as well; all in all I have high hopes that my restart will begin. Now.
- Tidy and mop the apartment
- Read 4 books in preparation for October
- Pactice bookstagramming and flat lays
- Research social media tips
- Practice mindfulness
- Organize emails
- Play with makeup more
- Get 2 of Axelyn’s main classes to 50
- Make 1 candle
- Learn to duel (as Bubba’s request)
There are other things like find a job in my field which is going to take some time. But I would like to get a jump start on everything I moved here to do and accomplish.
My anxiety has a tendency to make me not want to move or make me afraid of certain things and I’m tired of being afraid. I try to push myself out of those moments as much as I can but sometimes I just feel like I can’t. When in reality I need to push harder. I need to stop thinking things are so hard cause yeah maybe they are. Maybe they’re beyond my current strength. But how can I get stronger or be better if I don’t try?
I need to learn how to have more faith in myself. To trust myself more. I use to think I was this amazing person who could accomplish everything and then anxiety came around and I lost that mindset. I need to find it, work on it and bring it back. Because if you’re not hyped about your own projects and idea’s how can you expect anyone else to be?
Here’s to a productive month full of adventures, new favorites and starting new goals.
Goodbye August, GOODBYE!
2U by David Guetta (ft. Justin Bieber) has been on repeat like all week. I don’t get how it could be BY someone but obviously The Beibz is the only one speaking on this track lol. That part always confused me! I get that it might be David’s beat but Justin’s on it but still, I’m sure you know what I mean lol.
How is it damn near the end of the month — well actually it IS the end of the month — already?!
That leaves what… the holidays left? Holy crap this year has flown RIGHT ON BY!