It’s been a pretty stressful and bitchy week for both M and I. Sometimes it’s comforting to know that your husband can read you like a book, but sometimes it feels like someone is invading your private thoughts and feelings. Mostly when I did something wrong and I try to hide it and well, I’m caught but I haven’t said anything yet.
Maybe this is TMI (Too Much Information) but hey, it’s my blog and if you know me at all, you know I’m all about telling you TMI. But it warms my heart when I’m sad about something and M hugs me and tells me he just wants to make love to me, look me in the eyes and tell me how much he loves me. ♥
I’m working really hard to sustain myself in this class — religion. Not exactly a class to jump for joy for, but I can’t deny that I’m having a ton of fun. The teacher is pretty funny and awesome. He makes religion really fun and that’s good, because it’s not a fun subject. Not even a little bit. Well, it can be if you were learning about something other than Jews and Jesus and such. Especially when you dropped that particular religion yourself years ago. So, yeah. That’s pretty much where I stand with that one…
Other personal things have been stressing me out lately, and it’s so weird that I worded it like that. Mostly because back in the day (when NO ONE was on the internet) I would blog everything I was thinking. No matter how personal and now I’m all “other personal things” like what the hell is that about? But I guess that’s the progression of the internet.
Anyway, I guess vaguely talking about isn’t really “letting it out” therefore it probably won’t really help me feel better. And I’m sure a year from now I’ll be like “and what the fuck are you referring to?!” but it’s all good. I just, don’t know. Feel like putting an extra protection spell around my already ridiculously high wall. Every time I feel a little unsure, I feel myself change. I don’t know exactly what I mean when I say that, but I feel a shift. A tilt. I remind myself to guard myself better. Is that sad? I guess it is. I’m a pretty open book, an open person and I’m starting to learn that I need to stop. No one can hurt me if they don’t know me.
In other news, I personally think that girls shouldn’t be leaders in video games… EVER. Maybe that’s an extreme comment, but we make horrible leaders. Sure we could start out all for being a strong leader but when you take a girl and put her in a league/linkshell/guild full of boys, she’s going to get… psycho. For lack of better word. Bottom line, it’s really bad juju for a leader to ninja loot her own friend/league member for any reason. You’re a LEADER. Not only that, but, I really could go on forever about this. But girls likethat give girls who actually do play video games sensibly a really, really, really bad name.
Also, how do you get mad cause someone you like on a VIDEO GAME has been MARRIED in REAL LIFE for the last TWO YEARS? I mean, come on, really? Maybe you need to get out the house more. Just because this game is real life for you doesn’t mean it’s real life for other people. Grow up. But it’s cool, keep making him mad, you’re THISCLOSE to no coming back and that’s the fun part. He doesn’t snap often (or at all) but when he does, it’s pure entertainment. For me at least. Hah!
I’ve been thinking about the things that matter lately. After two years of book blogging, I don’t know how I feel about it. And I hate to say that, because reading has always been my thing. But I guess it’s like how all the other bloggers who get there say. When you start getting flooded with ARC’s, with pitches, with one too many that there isn’t enough time for all of them + the rest of life, it gets tiring. It starts to feel like a job and not a hobby. I need to step back and think about this. I still want to do it, I still love reading an amazing book. I still want to share my thoughts. I still want to talk about books with people who love them too… but with life and school, it’s a little hard to do that lately.
Anyone who actually talks to me knows how much I love food. It’s no secret really. If you’re on my Facebook or if you follow me on Instagram or Twitter, it’s not really a secret. I’m one of those people who take a picture of their food before they eat it… every single time. Over the years I’ve had food blogs, but I never really knew what to do with them or where to go with them. I can’t deny that food has always been a strong passion of mine. It’s just now that I want to do something with that. I first started my first food blog when I was in culinary school and when I dropped, I moved to other food things, but I just never really took it seriously. I was suppose to start a food blog when I was working at Disney, I have the pictures… just not the exact memories anymore. I didn’t have a lot of time back then to focus on it. I wanted to start a cooking blog when I moved out too, but the stuff I made wasn’t really fantastic or anything. I felt like it was unworthy content, and now I regret not doing that.
But I started a food blog based on places in the SF bay. I’m having trouble updating it but I want to start taking it a little more seriously.
So maybe I will.