If Only…

Pregnancy isn’t fun.

I’m not having fun.

But I’m very thankful the first trimester is over. I am very thankful the morning sickness has let up. I’m very thankful that there isn’t much ligament pain or stretching of the skin pain or very much cramping these days.

However; the headaches are still in full force. The discomfort is still (and I assume will always) is still there. Feeling like a turtle on its back every time I have to get out of bed is still a thing. Oh and having to pee 3-5 times a night is now a thing. And one new thing that happened this week was that I have so weird break out happening on the left side of my forehead, cheek, eyebrow and nose. I feel like they’re mosquito bites but at this point with side effects and hormones and such who the hell even knows anymore.

I am just thankful I can eat (almost) anything I want without throwing up my entire soul.

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The last two weeks have been stressful. Just straight up stressful and the last few days have been frustrating. So what happens when I’m both stressed out and frustrated? YOU GET ME WANTING TO SCREAM AND BREAK THINGS.

For the most part I try to keep my anger under control. My stress is a little harder to hide. But lately I’ve just felt like lashing out like when I was a kid who didn’t give a flying fuck.

It just frustrates me that my parents still treat me like a kid. Like I don’t know how to take care of myself or that I don’t have common sense.

And with the stress of my school work load now that I’m almost done with GE (THANK THE GODS I’M ALMOST DONE) I just don’t have time for it. I don’t have patience. I just want everyone to stop bothering me over stupid ass shit!!!!

I was doing so good with finishing four books last week and this week I’ve read like, 100 pages. I’m just so stressed out. Not to mention that I don’t know if it’s allergies or I’m getting sick but I’m ready to rip my throat out and grow a new one. I haven’t been able to breathe when I sleep at night either. Then again, it might just be stress trying to kill me off. Who the fuck knows at this point.