It’s so crazy to think another week of October is down! I’ve only finished 2 books this month so far and I’m still struggling through Winter. But the books I had intended to read for my October Challenge haven’t exactly been read yet and I’m trying my best to not feel like a failure. Trying. Really hard.
Over the last few years I’ve set a reading challenge for myself in October — sometimes this extends to September or December but it’s always always been in October. I dedicate this month to read all the “scarier” books I pushed off the rest of the year. And normally I would look forward to this challenge but this year I live alone so reading scary books is a bit of MORE than JUST a challenge for me, especially with my anxiety acting up and making me see things that aren’t there (which it tends to do when I get really stressed out — I just cant figure out the trigger for it this time and it’s driving me nuts).
If you’d like to see the covers to the books I’m mentioning you can check out my Amazon list of it [ H E R E ] as I’m too lazy to figure out a format for these book covers in this entry though I would love to do it, if I could figure it out. Perhaps I’ll edit this entry later and play around with that. Or not. Who knows. But for now you get just a basic list.
Any titles I come across to add to the list that isn’t on this list can be found on the Amazon list. In addition I have 2 1/2 re-reads I try to do every year of my 2 favorite passed challenge reads!
Again, to see the covers click ⇢ H E R E.
⇢ The Girl at Midnight by Melissa Grey
⇢ And I Darken by Kiersten White
⇢ Roar by Cora Carmack
⇢ The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco
⇢ The Shadow Society by Marie Rutkoski
⇢ Roseblood by A.G. Howard
⇢ Sweet Evil by Wendy Higgans
⇢ Frostblood by Elly Blake
⇢ Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
⇢ Haunted by Alexandra Adornetto
⇢ The Beast Is an Animal by Peternelle van Arsdale
⇢ Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo
⇢ Wicked Like a Wildfire by Lana Popovic
⇢ The Crowns of Croswald by D.E. Night
RE – READS
⇢ Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins
⇢ Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan
⇢ Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (MAYBE)
Has it already been a week?
I feel like I was just writing one of these.
It’s been a week since my shit ass ex boyfriend took my iPhone and PS4. Eliminating the obligation of gaming has been SO NICE. Like him taking the PS4 was the break I needed. I was suppose to replace it this week but decided to hold off another week because I’m enjoying all this free time THAT much. It’s so weird when you have a video game system in your bubble and how it makes you feel obligated to play; especially when it comes to an MMORPG. Granted before I lost the PS4 we weren’t really getting on that much anymore anyway. Just to do dailies/weeklies, crafting, gathering and that was pretty much it. But without that temptation… I don’t know, I just feel more free! Speaking of free, I also feel more free now that I’m not tied into his phone plan anymore (that he forced me into and never paid the cancellation fee from my previous provider even though he said he would, that boy is full of lies. Up the ass.) nor does he have a way of contacting me anymore \o/ thank goodness! Whew. He is taking it on himself to bug my roommate (whom he never had anything nice to say about) to indirectly contact me. In fact the other day he told her that I owed him $360+ to replace the phone I “ruined” though he has no proof I did it nor why would I do it. You wanted your phone and PS4 back, you got it back, now leave me alone. Then goes off saying I should be “responsible” and an “adult” since he’s “paid for my phone plan for a year” even though I never asked him to. Not to mention that whole year he was living in MY apartment he stopped paying rent after 3 months, didn’t pay bills, didn’t pay for food and hardly even paid for his own gas to get to work. So if he wants to talk about who owes who money he can shove his dick in his mouth. But he’s the type of person who thinks everything he says is right and everyone else is wrong. So there’s no point in even contacting/correcting him because he’s full of delirious ass shit and not worth any more of my time or energy.
On to my week!
Florida sunsets are my favorite. Though they remind me of Chatham Square and make me homesick for that place all the time. I’ve been burning candles again; one being the Key Lime Pie one my mom got me from Kohls, she got be 3 from the Sonoma line… wait no 4 but the last one isn’t part of this collection. The KLP one wasn’t my favorite. It was nice on cold sniff but lit it wasn’t that great. It had a weird after-scent to it. I’ve also been burning one of the candles my boyfriend got me for Valentines Day — I think I like this one the most which is Sweet Spun Sugar. It smells like straight up cotton candy, it’s so good! My first Nendoroid came in too, it’s of Garuda which is my favorite FF primal. She’s so cute! I wanna get the Ifrit one too but he’s not with Amazon Prime… sigh.
Once upon a time I actually liked being sick. You know the good feeling of melting into your bed because all your limbs ache? I loved that feeling. That was the best part of being sick — your limbs aching. Because cuddling under the covers was just that much better. But that was in high school, when you didn’t have to worry about much other than school (and maybe a slight part time job).
Now that I’m older (and I have this constant obsession with beating time) I hate being sick. I hate feeling like I’m not able to function (this goes for the days with awful headaches too) and knowing that I won’t get anything significant done today.
I woke up at around 7am, like I usually do and made a to-do list while I was half asleep. I knew I didn’t feel good so I didn’t make it too extensive, just productive. It was mostly getting blogging and reading done. And I went back to sleep. Husband got up at around 11-ish I think and I told him I didn’t feel good so he tucked me in and I didn’t get up until 130pm because I wanted to. He insisted I still stay in bed. He never insists I stay in bed, esp when I’m sick. Usually.
I started reading A Christmas Carol and I tried to finish the other two books I started on and I remembered I have two other books I need to read before my lend at the elibrary is up. But sadly, I didn’t finish any books today. Which sucks. I’ve been in a bit of a reading rut the last few weeks and this simply just won’t do! Ugh. I didn’t get any of my blogging I wanted to get done, done. So that sucks too. I might just have to force myself to crank them all out after I eat dinner soon.
I did figure out what the eff that stinging sensation on my index finger was — my eczema cracked. I have to admit, it’s been a very long time since that’s happened. Sometimes I’ll scratch myself cuts in my sleep when it gets bad but my eczema cracking on its own hasn’t happened in awhile. So while this little cut is driving me effen nuts, I’m thankful for the gap between this crack and the last. Snow also managed to pull her foot claws out last night when I was trying to cuddle her and cut two little holes on the palm of my right hand. Surprisingly they don’t hurt but they look gross. Thanks sweet pea.
I hope I feel better tomorrow. I have shit to do.
Sometimes I get into these fits, where I get a little twitch of anxiety and I feel like beating someone in my face. Strange, right? It’ll be a really strong urge for like, a second. I’ve never actually done it though, for the first half of the second I feel compelled then the other half I think about how strange it is.
I haven’t been blogging lately because well, it’s been cold and typing with frozen fingers was never my strong point. But I figured today, today I better say something.
It was STORMiNG yesterday and especially last night. Like windy/rain beating down storming for HOURS and yet no sign of thunder or lightning. That’s NorCal for you! You would think I wouldn’t mind it so much after living in Orlando during hurricane season but I don’t know, it was borderline scary and cool.
I use to be terrified of rain storms as a kid. Completely terrified! I hated thunder because it shook the house and I never understood how my grandpa could be sitting on the couch calm, reading the newspaper while I was bawling my eyes out. HELLO, THE WIND IS GOING TO KNOCK THE HOUSE DOWN! “It won’t,” he says. It didn’t. Then again, not much scared my grandpa. He hated it when I cried, said it made me look ugly and I look prettier when I smile. Not something you saw to a bawling 4 year old but I think about it every time I cry. Thanks grandpa. I miss him. I wonder what wise words he would say to me now.
My mom tried to put my dog to sleep — again. For the third time. I’m not sure I want to talk about it here. Just that I’m utterly upset and angry. I made a new LiveJournal and I totally vented about it there. Also, I’ve missed LJ.
I managed to finish the book I had to read for a blog tour even though my copy was formatted strange and cut off paragraphs but it’s cool, I got the gist. A whole ‘nother stack of books to read by the end of the week.
That’s pretty much it… it’s cold and I’m upset. So I’m going to go crawl in my covers and read.
So last night/this morning as usual I read until 4am then got ready for bed. I usually get ready for bed at 3 but lately it’s been 4. My goal this month is to be IN BED by 1am. This is going to be impossible considering 3am has been my bedtime for the last 6 years (insomnia sucks). So I fall asleep for about half an hour. But the whole half hour I’m “asleep” I’m convincing myself I don’t need to be that bad to the point where I really have to get out of bed. It didn’t work out, I ended up caving and going to the bathroom.
After that I pretty much stared at the wall — in the dark — for about 3hrs unable to sleep. I’d close my eyes, cover my head with the blanket, M even tried to cuddle me to sleep. Nothing was working so at about 10am I decided to just give up and get up.
We went to get breakfast (something that NEVER happens) and went out to a cute plaza we discovered back in January to go for a stroll. Which was fun, but on the way home (this place is about half an hour away on a freeway) that’s when our drowsy started to kick in. Now we’re home and wide awake. Again.
This has never really happened. Where I simply just cannot sleep at all. There are times I’ve forced myself to stay up for 24hrs due to you know, work and stuff but I’ve never just stayed awake for no reason. It’s driving me nuts. I WANT TO GO TO SLEEP. But like I said, I’m wiiiiiiiiiiide awake right now. Ughhh.
In other news, while I was making dinner last night Chammy decided to sit behind me on the kitchen table and cry the whole time. Her and her saddest eyes! But I wasn’t going to feed her hot soup that she probably can’t digest anyway. Poor thing, I hate hearing her cry even if it is just for attention.
Autumn is coming QUICK and I’m not prepared for any of my crafts yet. But I will be hopefully during this week. I think I’m going to use this weekend to tidy up and sort things before I run out of time and end up sad.
I got all my book reviews set for the month of September. Whoohoo! I’ve never been this far ahead before. Gotta say, feels good (:
Now I just have to get started on my October challenge reads (I do this every year). I’m pretty excited… like I am every October lol. The only problem now is picking which books to read since I have so many!
I’ve been hunting down Limited Edition makeup and that’s never fun. But I did manage to find the Alice in Wonderland EOS lip balm trio! I’m so excited! Now waiting for ELF’s Villains palettes!
I’ll have pictures in my next post. I’m going to lay down and read or something in hopes that it’ll put me to sleep…