Hello, Reflecting

Weekly Recap; August 27th – September 2nd

Goodbye August, GOODBYE!

HELLOOOOOOOOOO FALL!

2U by David Guetta (ft. Justin Bieber) has been on repeat like all week. I don’t get how it could be BY someone but obviously The Beibz is the only one speaking on this track lol. That part always confused me! I get that it might be David’s beat but Justin’s on it but still, I’m sure you know what I mean lol.

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; August 27th – September 2nd”

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Weekly Recap; Aug 20th – Aug 26th

How is it damn near the end of the month — well actually it IS the end of the month — already?!

That leaves what… the holidays left? Holy crap this year has flown RIGHT ON BY!

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; Aug 20th – Aug 26th”

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Weekly Recap; Aug 13th – Aug 19th

These weeks are passing by faaaaast.

I feel like my anxiety has taken over a little bit and I haven’t had much sleep lately. It’s been driving me crazy. I’ve always hate the dark and the night and I’ve tried to get myself in a mindset where it won’t bother me as much but my anxiety has a way of spinning things way out of control too. That’s what I remember most looking back at this week was the lack of sleep I’ve been experiencing. Sigh.

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; Aug 13th – Aug 19th”

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Weekly Recap; Aug 6th – Aug 12th

I don’t remember much of this passed week really except for things that happened recently.

Bubba got me this really cool palette from Hot Topic probably the week before and I was playing with it; the colors are SO pigmented! It was $10 but now it’s dropped down to $6 and I WANT THEM ALL!! I had fun playing with the shimmer shades and seeing how amazing they all looked!

I also gave in and decided to start fall early and that usually means burning a Leaves candle \o/ I forget just how freakin strong the scent can get in a small room so it filled up my whole bathroom and made me feel a little sick lol. Yeah, no more bathroom time for you unless I’m not in it! Gahhh. Still bae though.

I also finally tried a face mask and OH GOD. IT STUNG LIKE CRAZY. It said to leave it on for 8-10 mins, UH NO. I took that shit off in 3! Gahhhh damn. And the liquid/bubbles kept getting into my mouth! Ew! It definitely did NOT taste good!

I upgraded my Weaver gear on FFXIV so I could make Bubba this rice hat for his glamour he’s been wanting, I’m glad he finally has a Monk glam he likes, FFXIV has been catering to Samurai’s since the last expansion StormBlood came out and the story for it sucks and so does the gear.

I got lightweight sick and so I decided to try something new — I ordered Clam Chowder and a Chicken Parm Sandwich from this place called East Hampton Sandwich Co and it was SO GOOD. I loved it all! The Chicken Parm reminded me of something I’d get for lunch everyday when I worked at Disney in 2011, I haven’t had that taste in such a long time! It was definitely comforting.

Bubba slept over and gave me and Sophie cuddles to make me feel better since I had trouble sleeping the night before. Sophie obviously took over my cuddle time since she has a habit of jumping ON Bubba to get his attention. Silly cat! I’m so glad she loves him though.

My books from Book Depo came in the mail, I ordered a twisted retelling of Alice and Peter Pan. The covers are what lured me in and I’m a sucker for retellings! The US covers weren’t as nice so I got the UK covers from Book Depo instead. I also got my book for review from Amazon Vine. I miss getting books for review from publishers though, sigh how the internet and marketing has changed since 2009…

This Coconut Milk Tea with Flan from Fruitalicious has been my OBSESSION lately. Like OMG! I cant get enough and the fact I can UberEATS it? So dangerous but so nice. Except that delivery fee — the drink itself is $4 but the delivery fee is also $4 so I end up paying $9 after taxes for one drink. Bubba’s like “you’re not using this whole boyfriend with a car who wants to get you food when you’re hungry to your advantage and I’m gonna need you to start,” lol he’s silly. I love him. But I don’t know if he’d get me boba if I asked lmao!

I fit the 3 Oz books Bubba got me and am just now realizing they’re out of order. Dammit, REDOING THE PICS. RECLAIMING MY TIME! But now I have to somehow fit the whole Wicked series too my mom’s slowly sending me and I don’t know if it’ll all fit… ah, this is gonna be a challenge!

Friday’s are shopping days it seems like lately; we went to my walking plaza so I could show Bubba Anthropologie, then we walked around the and hit Bath & Body Works where he got me two candles: he replaced my Stress Relief one that I burned up all of before I moved and got me a lemon one that I really like. I’m so glad they kept this scent and I’m hoping they keep it year round. He also got himself Autumn (which was stolen by his mom. Dang he can’t ever keep a candle to himself lol). Then we hit Sephora where we looked for the Naked Heat palette but they were sold out! So he got me the Too Faced Glitter Bomb one I’ve been playing with lately instead. For some reason my VIB accounts aren’t showing up on their system, it’s kinda frustrating but they didn’t have anything worth spending 100 points on either anyway.

My mom sent me a package and she included this photo of me and my cousin Rob when we were 17. I think we were on the Ferry to San Francisco when I took this. Man we look suuuuuper young, those were the days!

I also got my tea’s in from Amazon Prime \o/ they released 3 new tea’s it looks like! I can’t wait to try them! I wish I had remembered to pack my tea kettle from my other place but I totally forgot to and left it behind, whomp whomp. So now I have to find a new tea kettle or microwave water like I use to \o/ or maybe I should get one of those steeper things from Teavana… hm.

So Friday night I was in my bubble bath and it started raining, nothing too different. But I heard a clicking sound coming from my sink. It was a weird sound I hadn’t heard before and my mind was thinking it’s a roach in my sink so I stand up and I THINK I see a roach running around in there or SOMETHING and I FLIP OUT. I get out of the bath, didn’t even dry myself, step outside, shut the door and call Bubba saying he needs to come check my bathroom. So Sophie kept me company while I was freezing my ass off waiting for Bubba to get here lol! He went in and checked everywhere; the sink, the area around the sink, the counter, under the counter, the laundry room, the closet, the bedroom… and nothing. There was nothing. I tried to calm down and go back to my bath but I was so still slightly paranoid I didn’t feel like being there. Though to be fair — I did take two sleeping aids and I was tired and drowsy by the time he showed up. So he thinks my tired mind just hallucinated it. I mean we didn’t find anything so… 😦 though now a few days later I’m still wondering if I saw anything or if I really DID hallucinate it.

Either way I’ve been working on tidying my room and apartment as much as I can and getting rid of as many boxes as I can in the process. And lighting lemon candles. And doing all sorts of anti-roach things. For all I know, my last apartment coulda gave me PTSD with all the bug issues they had there. Ugh.

My apartment is still lacking some storage and stuff but hopefully more of it will be settled soon… sucks but it is what it is, doing what I can to build a new atmosphere and make things as zen as possible. I’m hoping to start filming again, I keep forgetting to vlog when I’m out and taking pics like I normally do but I also need to clear some memory off my phone too!

So this week I’ll be working on tidying/sorting/planning the zen corner, doing something about all these clothes just hanging out on the floor of my closet that need to be picked up cause UGH messes!, sorting my closet out, getting rid of more boxes and trying to post more.

I also remade my food blog HERE if you’re interested and I remade my book blog HERE. I wanted to move away from blogspot for a bit. My lifestyle blog is still there and I hate the way it looks and feels. But I would have to migrate that shit to a wordpress.org and I hear that gets headache inducing though it probably would be better to do it sooner than later since having it be on blogspot makes me almost not want to post and that’s not helpful to anyone tbh. I might migrate/redo my mental health blog which is right HERE for now, I haven’t updated it in some years but I want to start again — maybe. Or maybe I’ll just talk mental health and zen on hazearella, I DONT KNOW. But I do know my food and book blog are starting over. Whew.

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Weekly Recap; April 23rd – April 28th

I’m writing this post a day early.

I was going to schedule this post for tomorrow and lie but what if something interesting happens today?! So yeah, I’m just posting it a day earlier, whatever.

Currently I’m a bit peeved at my roommate who decided to throw away raw chicken yesterday MORNING before she LEFT FOR WORK, leaving it to sit in the trash in the kitchen ALL FUCKIN DAY in 90* Florida weather; I turned off the AC for a bit because I was feeling sick and cold not realizing there was RAW CHICKEN IN THE TRASH. So the apartment pretty much ended up smelling like something fuckin died. All day. I asked her about it at around 10pm to which she told me she tossed chicken and would be taking the trash out to the dumpster. I was falling in and out of sleep and at around midnight I woke up to the smell of dead shit in my house, so I asked her if she tossed it and she said she didn’t but she would put it outside — trash gets picked up from Sunday to Thursday. So that means the HALLWAY would smell like DEAD SHIT. Cause that’s better. Not to mention she still hasn’t filled out a resident form for living here and she’s set to move out in June.

So yeah, I’m kinda annoyed.

I really do try to keep my apartment as clean and as tidy as my anxiety will let me. I also try really hard to make sure my apartment SMELLS GOOD. It’s so important to me that my place smells good and I feel like recently that goal is SO HARD TO ACHIEVE and it’s starting to really piss me off.

This is like the 3rd time she’s done this. Also, not including other things.

Sophie is crying at my door, what the fuck.

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; April 23rd – April 28th”

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Thanksgiving & Black Friday

Thanksgiving was pretty relaxing this year, I guess. For me anyway. I stayed home and did a whole lot of nothing for once. Had a mini snack before dinner of the food already laid out — green beans, cranberry and mashed potatoes. My brother asked if I wanted turkey but I wanted to wait until everything was done. I’m glad I said that because the layout when everything was done? AMAZING. Everything looked so yummy! And I discovered a new love — Candied Yams. Seriously, where have these been my whole life? It amazes me how good my brother’s cooking is (:

M went to his mom’s house but I skipped out on it. I’m not great with family holidays and I tend to skip them as often as I can. I know that sounds awful but eh, it’s who I am. Besides, there’s way too many babies at his house these days. Me + babies + holidays? Uhm, no. Not my idea of a good time. Geez, that made me sound like an asshole.

M had work at 8am on Black Friday so you know, no shopping. I know places opened up at midnight this year but there is no effen way I’m going to the mall at midnight. There wasn’t anything we really wanted this year… we usually grab external hard drives at Fry’s every year but I got us free ones from Amazon Vine for review, so we’re good to go. I did get some shopping done the day before Thanksgiving when I went with him to work though. I got my scarves and a memory card (a tradition of mine). We went out anyway after he came home from work. The mall was still pretty packed at 6pm. Everything was a mess though and even though there were some steals, there was nothing really left. I mostly wanted to go out to get some wallflowers from Bath & Body Works (which I did — Twisted Peppermint and Gingerbread) and get an idea of what I wanted to get people for Christmas. I hate Christmas shopping. For reasons.

Being broke during the holidays really makes you think about things before you buy them. Like 1) will my mom even like this or 2) will she USE it. If the answer is no, I don’t get it. When before I’d get anything that I think she would think is pretty. Having money to blow is a nice feeling but you don’t really appreciate things that way.

This year all I really want for Christmas is a new purse, a Kindle (I have a Fire but there’s no way I’m bringing that work!) and that’s pretty much it. I don’t know what I’m getting M. I wanted to get him a GoPro camera but he always wants the top of the line and honestly I don’t have $300 to blow on a camera I want to get him. Why couldn’t he just be happy with The GoPro2? Erg.

This weekend also marks the time when I should probably start cleaning/sorting the room for the move and you know, to put up our tree and all. Yeah, I should probably go do that…

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How could you let this be…?

In all my almost 27 years, I don’t think I will ever understand why some people have a hold on you and some don’t.

I think when something just suddenly ends, leaves you standing by yourself wondering what the fuck just happened, it leaves a ton of room for you to wonder. And I think when something leaves too much room to wonder, you can find yourself in a really big pit of never ending darkness.

Yeah, that’s kinda what I feel stuck in right now.

My mains hate the nights I sit here reading old conversations from years ago that don’t matter anymore, but sometimes I can’t help but look back on them. Did I miss something? What if I did and it just wasn’t recorded?

What if it doesn’t matter anymore?

Why does it still matter to me?

It just sucks.

—————-

In other news, I had lunch with M earlier. Our Sunday fav: Chiptole and Panera Bread. CJ offered me frozen Macarons for a burrito, even though I’d have to pay toll TWICE to get to him LOL. Silly boy!

After that, we stopped by World Market where they had big bags of Chupa Chumps (ahhhh!!!) and M stating the obvious… “I don’t know why you never finish your candy, walk into World Market and assume you won’t want anything.” LOL hush you. Then we headed to Walgreens where I got 3 new nail polishes (Athena, Zeus and Cinderella. Legit. Best nail polish names, EVER) and dinner at Panda Express (where the boy who served me had the same name as a boy I worry about).

Maybe I should work on something more productive.