Book Haul

stuckinthislife_review

FOR REVIEW FROM AMAZON VINE

  • The Promise of Amazing by Robin Constantine
  • The Geography of You and Me by Jennifer E. Smith

WON

  • Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy

 
 

stuckinthislife_netgalley

NEGALLEY

  • Herbs for Stress & Anxiety by Rosemary Gladstar
  • Oblivion by Sasha Dawn
  • Sugar Baby by Gesine Bullock-Prado
  • 18 Truths by Jamie Ayres
  • The Break-Up Artist by Philip Siegel
  • Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off by Jill Steeples
  • The Best Kind of Broken by Chelsea Fine
  • Undone by Shannon Richard
  • Sing Sweet Nightingale by Erica Cameron
  • Witchfall by Victoria Lamb
  • Crazy For You by Emma Heatherington
  • My Date From Hell by Tellulah Darling
  • Before I Wake by C.L. Taylor

 

I didn’t snap a picture of the books I bought because they’re all on my Kindle annnnd I forgot haha.

 

What did you get this week?

Mini skirt with my J’s on…

SPiNNiNG: 23 by Miley Cyrus

Why am I listening to this? It’s so freakin catchy. Ugh. Not the point of this post lol.

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Let’s talk.

Some people spend an awful lot of time discussing other people and it’s such a pet peeve and a huge turn off for me. Like, why are you fixated on the way this person looks, sounds, says or their sexual preference? What does any of that have to do with you or your life? It just doesn’t make any sense. Then they ask for my opinion which honestly is just bait to back them up then end up disappointed when I say I don’t have an opinion or care about the subject. Because I *have* to have some kind of opinion.

Pffft.

There’s a difference between having an opinion and being an asshole. Sure I may have an initial reaction to someone out of either shock or awe but whatever it is doesn’t always need to be said outloud and honestly even if I have an opinion of someone I’m sure within 2 seconds I’ve moved on.

The things you say about someone is not a reflection of them, it’s a reflection of you.

Just something to think about.

I’m completely aware that I’m by no means perfect. I’m flawed to the moon and back. But at least I’m fully aware of my flaws, I don’t do much to hide them because honestly if someone doesn’t like me, they won’t like me. If they don’t accept me, that’s fine, they don’t have to. So who am I to judge someone else?

Besides, I’m too focused on my hustle and too focused on making myself a better person.

Bonjour Février!

b262561e8a4e50c8b1a564ce254c00c1[ credit to Pinterest ]

It’s 75° here in Orlando but it feels much colder than that in my apartment so the heater is still running. It’s suppose to rain and thunder today, I’m pretty excited about that! We’ve had rain all week but no thunder and lightning. Which, hello! Is the best part, right?!

I fell out of focus completely the end of last month. Mostly because M was sick with the flu and I spent most of the day trying to get chores and homework done before he would get home so I could focus all my attention and energy on taking care of him. But truth is, I shouldn’t had fallen out of focus. I can’t.

So here are some goals I’m hoping to accomplish this month…

  • Go back to sleeping & waking up early

  • Discover 2 new products

  • Get homework done in the beginning of week

  • Come up with Valentines Day themed posts

  • Tidy living room

  • Build a light box

  • Build dresser

  • Read!!

  • Fix up blog about me pages

  • Film Defy review

  • Make homemade gum drops

  • Learn how to knit

 

Trying to keep it simple. I mean these are all attainable, right? Nothing way too out there!

So here’s to hoping that February is a productive one!

What are some of your goals for this month?

There’s really no good lyric for a title in this song…

SPiNNiNG: This Luv by Donell Jones ♥

It’s cold. I’m listening to mellow ass slow jams. And I have a slight headache. The only thing I’m really thinking is how much I would love to be standing at the pier in San Francisco looking out into the water tonight. There are moments I miss SF so fiercely which is crazy! After high school I’ve kept my distance from going there so often. I guess in a weird way I kind of ruined the city for myself. But it doesn’t stop me from missing it.

Living nowhere near a city really blows. There’s something about the busy of a city, the creativity in the air, everything just at your fingertips. I feel like I’m in the middle of nowhere here. What makes it worse is that almost no one speaks English. And I live in Florida, so what the heyhey is going on? Did I miss something?

Feb starts in 2 hours and like the turn of every new month I’m all MAKE ALL THE GOALS! I need to cool it lol. But there are some projects I want to work on for Valentines Day, even if they’re just for myself. It’s all good. Half the bills are paid for Feb and it’s still Jan. I’d call that pretty successful. Who knew having a calender would really make that much of a difference? Crazy right?

So Valentines Day is coming up and M still hasn’t asked me. I know; you’re married, does it matter? YES. IT MATTERS. CAUSE I WANT IT TO MATTER. OKAY? Gotta keep the romance alive folks. Or find any possible way you can to torment your husband. Whichever. But we were talkin about something and I was telling him that I never had a Valentine before we started dating. So… 19 years. I mean I had a Valentine for like the last hour of VDay once. Does that count? But you get what I mean. But I never really felt like I needed one… I had the most amazing and loving friends a person could ask for and my mom always gave me flowers and gifts. But now that I’m living away from my mom and I don’t have very many friends anymore and my husband isn’t one to take Valentines Day too seriously well… it gets a little lonely.

I know, how lame, right?

I think I’m going to wrap myself in my blankets like a burrito. Mmm. I could go for a burrito.

In the back of mind…

I’m scrolling through Facebook, looking up old friends who are on my friend’s list but I haven’t talked to in years.

And I can’t help but see the years of their lives I’ve missed. The years where they’ve grown, accomplished things, seen things, experienced things and all I can think about is how close we were when we were kids and wonder what happened. When did we drift away? Was it something that happened? Something that was said? Or was it just distance and time? Was it just because we grew up?

A forever friend stopped by when I came home last year for Christmas and he was the only person I saw while I was home. We’re both on the East Coast now but in different states so we don’t see each other or talk as much as we use to but he is someone incredibly important to me. But seeing him again, I didn’t have much to say like I use to. I don’t know if it was just because life is different now or because our lives are different. I’m not the same drama filled, boy crazy kid I use to be and honestly, my life isn’t interesting enough to keep up conversation with someone but in all honesty, it sort of made me sad.

Am I drifting away from everyone?

There’s nothing more hallow than realizing that people you’ve known since you were a kid are within your reach but you don’t know how to reconnect with these people. It’s a strange feeling to know that your circle of friends isn’t a circle. It’s just you. You alone in a room.

How do you get back to talking to people when it’s not in a professional setting? How do you talk to people casually? What do you say? I don’t drink. I don’t party. I don’t have crazy stories to tell anymore. And I wonder if that’s where I got boring.

Hello, 2014

So, it’s 2014.

Anyone else think that it’s sort of strange?

I was looking over my last years resolutions and I’m happy to say I completed most of them; I didn’t manage to read 60 books, but I read around 35 which is still good for someone who was in the Disney College Program and worked doubles twice a week. I took and edited a bunch of pictures… I just didn’t post them. I did not craft, I wanted to but I just never got around to it. I didn’t bake at all this year but I did learn how to cook! I sort of got a massage, I got a facial that came with a mini shoulder massage for my birthday and I loved it! I did learn a bit of French. And I did do some relaxing.

This year, I’m not going to write a resolutions list. I know, for the first time ever I’m committing the following year with no guideline list. Trust me, it’s scary.

But I will have a word that I will try to follow through out the year and I will have a set of goals.

So my 2014 word is —- Happiness.

Simple right? If it makes me happy, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t. I find happiness something that’s hard to achieve and it shouldn’t be! I’m turning 29 this year and I want to be happy. I want to be okay with my life, even if it’s not exactly where I want it to be. I want to learn how to be okay with it all. Yeah being an adult sucks and bills suck and debt sucks and not having a well enough paying job that provides health benefits suck but instead of sulking on how much everything sucks, why don’t I try harder to see the positive in things? Why don’t I try harder to realize that this is where my life is and until I change it, it will stay this way? And I don’t mean that in a “this is your fault” kind of way but more of a “you are not a tree, MOVE” kind of way. If that makes sense.

So, my goals for 2014 aren’t anything too extreme and I’m calling them goals because if I don’t complete them, my life isn’t over.

  • Read at least 25 books

This is also the first year where I’m not challenging myself to read 50+ books in the last 3 years. While I’ve had fun trying to complete that challenge, this last year has shown me that even if I do read 30 books, I only really enjoyed 3 of them. So instead of racing everyone else in the book blogging community, I want to get back to reading books for fun. I mean I’ll still do blog tours and promo stuff but I want, for the majority of the time, to read books that I want to read no matter what the hype or release date is.

  • Be more organized

You’d think that someone with OCD would be SUPER organized right? No. Not I. I have a hoarding problem and though it’s not as bad as it use to be, if you take a look at my living room you’ll wonder wtf is even happening. So yes, I need to tidy this because I can’t use the “oh we just moved in excuse” anymore since that happened 5 months ago.

  • Post 1 – 2 videos per week

This is probably one of the most ambitious goals I have for myself this year. But I really want to get into the swing of posting vlogs and videos and learning how to edit better with iMovie and learn how to edit with Final Cut X.

  • Go somewhere you’ve never been

I got this from an article and I thought it was cool. Living in Orlando I haven’t ventured outside of Orlando because man… these tolls! But I really want to see Tampa and Winter Park and a few other places.

  • Cook & Bake more

I bought a slow cooker recently and I have no idea what to do with it. Our first project was a fail so I’m hoping to learn how to make something better!

  • Get better at couponing

I started couponing last year (so crazy to think that yesterday was last year) and I’m getting better at finding good deals but I think I can do better!

  • Start a savings account

Believe it or not, hubby and I don’t have a savings account. Like, literally. At all. And I think at this age, that’s kiiiiiinda… bad. So while money is already tight as it is, we need to figure out a way to start a savings account!

And the next few are just usual ones that I don’t really count as goals because they’re something I strive to do everyday anyway.

  • Take more pictures
  • Continue learning French
  • Pass all your classes
  • Craft

 

Despite all this stuff, my ultimate goal this year is to learn and to be happy. So if I at least achieve that, I’ll feel accomplished!

What are some of your goals this upcoming year? Do you do resolutions?

Cause it’s not too often I feel content

Contentment.

That’s an emotion I don’t have the pleasure of meeting up with too frequently. Maybe a handful of times my entire life? Happiness? True happiness? I don’t wanna talk about it.

But while it’s the 5th of November and I’m behind on both my read and my word count for NaNoWriMo I’m still… content.

I’m doing well in school. Passed my last class with an A- an A fuckin minus. Can you believe that? I worked hard for that A! I’m so proud of myself! I’m learning French finally and there’s something amazing about learning a new language and recognizing words and being able to instantly translate them in your head.

My NaNo project this year has no plot. It has a theme. A theme that helps me moving forward but no plot. Thinking back, none of my books have plots. I’m a little afraid of plots. They finalize things but books need plots! What’s a story without a plot? But NaNo is practice. Getting to that 50k words in 30 days. Just knowing I can do it would be enough. Even if I go this whole month writing a plot-less novel with 50k words, if I just finished I would be happy. If anything I’d have my words and I’d have a theme.

————

There are people who you meet and majority of these people you don’t think will make a major difference in your life.

12 years ago I met a boy who was different than any other boy I knew at the time. He was interesting, he was funny, he was intriguing, he knew all the right things to say and for some unknown crazy reason he thought I was interesting too. Through the years we’ve gone through a lot together, being support to each other. He also put me through a lot of heartbreak.

I may never know why (beyond that he says he was an asshole) or how he really felt about me back then. If it was anything in comparison to what I felt about him but all these years later, none of that should matter. What matters is that through all the phases in my life he was there. Through all the times growing up, when all I wanted was someone who cared he was there. When all I wanted was someone to make me feel special, he was there. He never failed me.

Growing up is funny, now that we’re older he’s everywhere and anywhere. It’s harder to keep track of him and sometimes he’s gone for months at a time. I know that it’s ridiculous to think that someone will always be there when you need them. That’s unrealistic. It’s unrealistic that someone will drop everything to make you feel special. At 28, you should be old enough to make yourself feel special. And beyond that, it’s not his job anymore.

But I am so thankful for him. For so many reasons. For so many reasons I can’t even put into words. Happy Birthday Bumble Beez, I hope you’re having an amazing day. I heart you, always. You’re the most amazing friend a person could ever ask for. When you’re not being an asshole.

Apparently, sleep and I are at war

Ever have those nights where you can’t sleep at all? Well I had one of those nights the other night. Decided against taking any sleeping aid, thought I’d be fine since I was kinda tired and well… that didn’t work out. I was staring at the ceiling from 3AM to flippin 7AM. No joke. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t sleep. To make things even worse when I finally did fall asleep at 7AM I woke up at 10AM. Yeah, that was fun.

So last night I took a sleeping aid and it took me awhile to get to sleep but at least I went to sleep. I kept waking up in the middle of the night though. Not sure if it was because of me or the fact that my husband grinds his teeth at night and it makes me want to punch him. Not only that but I kept having nightmares last night. Ugh.

Why can’t I just get some normal sleep?!

Sometimes I just wanna quit, be normal for a bit

SPiNNiNG: Where’d You Go by Fort Minor

What is normal? I’m reading back on blogs from today 2007 and I do this thing where I block out shit. Any day to day shit from 2005 til now? I couldn’t really tell you. I remember bits and pieces and I block out everything else. So when I read back to my struggles and how hard and shitty life was it does something to me. I don’t know exactly what. It’s a feeling of missing those times (because I shopped like no ones business) but sad because my life has always been hard.

I wrote an entry yesterday on a private blog about how a favorite lifetime vice of mine when I’m down and out was always the answer but never the solution and I feel like that applies to a lot of things I do. In high school I was out of control and reckless and I would get into anything if it meant killing the pain. Numbing my mind and tricking myself into think that somewhere someone would want me. Even if it was for less than hour.

And I hurt people doing that and at the time I didn’t care, all I cared about was myself. My feelings. And I turned my back on people who would literally show up at my door just to see how I was doing. Who would pick up the phone and dial my number just to see if I was okay.

But people change, people are always changing.

I don’t know what the point of this post is. I guess I just needed to talk. I needed to run through memories and piece it together.

I still don’t have my solution. And I’m still running to answers.

Except this time I don’t have people coming to my door or dialing my number to see if I’m okay.

Yay productivity!

So I started classes back up yesterday and it totallyyyy slipped my mind. I know, how awful right?! Like how do you just forget something like that? The worst part is this is the second time I forgot! My counselors had to reschedule me and I forgot, again. It’s just really hard jumping back into online classes after being away for almost a year.

I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do about school and I don’t know if I ever will, we’ll see once I finish my GE. I did great the first week I was set out to work out. I skipped last week and I think I’m skipping this week. I know beginning is always the hardest part and I do want to go running but there’s just so much to do *excuses excuses* I know. Siiiigh. I do need to get my ass in gear though.

Today I managed to do my DQ, now I have to focus on the one due at the end of the week that requires us to reference our reading — that’s going to suck. And I think there’s a solo assignment due too. I like being ahead on my school work but I think right now I’m just going to take this week by week (until next week hits and I can’t stand not being ahead). I also wrote my last two reviews for Amazon Vine before Vine day (whoot whoot!). M got me Untold by Sarah Rees Brennan like he said he would. I’ve only been waiting for this title for over a year, no biggie lol. But once I finish Untold (give me 3 hours, tops) he’s getting me The Devil and the Dark Blue Sea which I’m super excited for too.

I’m behind like 16 books on my 50 book challenge and I’m scared I won’t pull through. I usually put together a list of creepy books for Halloween (third year in a row!) but I think this year I’m going to keep it light and just paranormal-y. I’ve got a ton of paranormal books I need to go through. Then in November I think I’ll focus on contemporary again. Or just not have a theme. But December is definitely Christmasy and lovey dovey stuff.

I also need to tidy the apartment just a tiny bit more so I can film a vlog on all my fall decor! And I just really want this place to look nice. I want to put flowers on the counter and in order to do that, I need to unclutter it. My kitchen is a mess too, everything is just everywhere. We have like zero storage here and it just sucks.

We have one more bill to pay on Friday and we’ll be done paying bills for this month. Then on to next month…