Hello, Recap, Reflecting

2017 Recap

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I’m a little sad this blog doesn’t have more yearly recap’s like this one I did for 2012, I know the last few years have sucked but damn. That bad?!

I tend to do this graphic every year… or I have the last few years but I honestly can’t remember where and if I actually post them! Oh gosh, I should fix that some time soon huh?

This year, though I’ve already recapped it here wasn’t very big on discovering much. At least… not as much as I would had liked. But then I don’t think I’ll ever really be happy with how much I discover since I want to discover ALL THE THINGS.

I’m going to try and copy that blog posts format as well though.

⇢ Favorite Book
I read less than my goal of 36 books this year but I did manage to finish The Lunar Chronicles thankfully! I didn’t find a book I really would consider a “favorite” this year. I did really like Tentacle & Wing but I haven’t written a blog review for it yet but you can find my Amazon review for it here.

⇢ Favorite Movie
I admit I haven’t watched very many movies this year. According to Bubba I only watched 3 in theaters which were Beauty & The Beast, Power Rangers and Wonder Woman. Though if I had to pick, I’d say Wonder Woman was my favorite movie of the year.

⇢ Favorite TV Show
We restarted a bunch of older TV shows like New Girl and Glee and we’ve been watching The Food Network lately while we eat but we started Avatar this year also. I introduced him to Fairy Tail and he introduced me to The Devil Is A Part Timer. There’s also Ouran Host Club. I’d say The Devil Is A Part Timer was my favorite show of this year.

⇢ Favorite Song
According to Spotify Bahala Na by James Reid and That’s What I Like by Bruno Mars were my top 2017 songs lol. But I’d also throw in 2U by Justin Bieber and I Want Crazy by Hunter Heyes is pretty up there.

⇢ Favorite Video Game
I think I played way less games this year than last year. There aren’t any games that stand out — I still played FFXIV but I started slowing down after Stormblood came out and stopped pretty much completely after I moved. I got back on Animal Crossing for awhile but then stopped. So, I don’t know. I guess if I had to say it would be Sims 4 for PS4 cause I could stay on that game forever.

⇢ Favorite Discovery
Caldo de Res and Coconut Milk from El Rancho…. annnnd a bunch of shopping centers here in Texas like Legacy Hall and Clearfork!

⇢ Favorite Makeup Item
The Too Faced Glitter Bomb palette, Urban Decay Naked Heat palette, Victoria Secret lotion in Cloudberry and the Chapstick cube lip balms in Cotton Candy!

⇢ Biggest Achievement 
Getting Julep Ambassador, getting on the Target website with a candle product shot, moving to a different state by myself.

⇢ Favorite Moment
Me: I was gonna ask for a promise ring but I thought that would be lame
Bubba: Why do you need a ring when you already have the promise *kisses my ring finger*

Pretty much every weekend since I’ve been in Texas too.

My OCD backing off when I first moved in. But of course it came back, as it always does. I need to find a trick to get that to stay at some point.

⇢ Favorite App
Besides social media I haven’t really discovered any this year. But I’d probably say Instagram and Pinterest.

My {onelittleword} this year was [ G R O W ] and I was still in the process of healing from various other things. I was still trying to get things together and figure things out. I tired to get myself to discover new things and go to new places and I think given the point in my life where I was at I did pretty damn good and there are moments I made massive progress. Like when I first moved in and my OCD wasn’t AS bad; I didn’t have to wash my hands all the damn time and I was able to put books and stuff on the bed without freaking out. I wonder why it’s like that, it’ll be almost gone when I move to a new place and the moment something stressful happens it comes back. Like wtf. Argh. Also having my own place is nice. Like a place that’s finally JUST MINE.

There were a lot of great things that happened this year and a lot of great things I discovered and a lot of great moments.

I hope to discover more things, more places, more favorites and to be an even better version of myself next year and I can’t wait to see what I’ll discover!

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Hello, Recap, Reflecting

Goodbye 2017

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If I had to rate 2017 on a scale it would probably be a 9/10. Overall, it was a pretty great year and it was one of the best years I’ve had in a really really long time.

I’ve gathered almost 80 photos for this post, but I’ll try to cut that down as much as I can. Though as I’ve said before, this blog is primarily used as an archive for myself 🙂

Continue reading “Goodbye 2017”

Reflecting

Dreams for sale… and fairy tales…

I have this problem; every time I get hit with an insane amount of anxiety or have an anxiety attack I don’t talk. I don’t reach out for help. I don’t run to anyone for comfort. I don’t expect comfort — and I don’t want comfort. I don’t want someone to feel obligated to give me comfort.

And I know why I’m this way.

And sometimes knowing why I’m this way makes the anxiety hurt even more. It makes me cry a little harder. It makes the throbbing in my chest a little more intense. It makes the reckless thoughts a little bit stronger.

The demons I face because of anxiety, the fears and the things that hold me back are all products of someone else’s reaction. But it was years of this very same reaction and it took years for me to realize that I could not go to this person for help. This person was not who I thought they were, they were not going to be there for me through sickness and health. They refused to be my strength when I fell, instead they kicked me even harder while I was down and told me to man up. To wake up and get rid of it. They accused me of not trying hard enough. Of not wanting to save our marriage because I wouldn’t just stop.

And now, even years later and years away from them I still fall into the same pit of fear — I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to ask for comfort. I’m afraid to let anyone see me break down. I don’t want anyone to feel bad or anyone to touch me or speak to me when I’m having an attack. I just want to be left completely utterly alone.

And I don’t know how to break out of that. I don’t know how to start reaching out for help.

Hopefully I can soon find a solution…

Reflecting

Sometimes I really hate iPhones

It all started when my iPhone force updated; I personally hate doing iPhone updates. For one, I barely ever have any memory because I hoard photos, screenshots and videos like no ones business. Which makes my life difficult in general since I use my phone for pretty much everything — social media, taking product shots, vlogging and editing my videos. So to add on iPhone constantly asking me if I want to update… well it just irritates me. I hit “remind me later” for like months. I pretty much don’t update my iSO until I upgrade my phone lol!

So it force upgraded one night which freaked me the hell out cause it did the whole “Welcome!” “Set up your iPhone!” bitch what? My iPhone is already set up! Thankfully after that screen was gone all was well. Nothing was deleted, nothing was missing. Whew.

Then the other day it asks me if I want to import my photos to my cloud. Normally when I get a new phone I start it as a new phone just to keep my photos organized. I always answer this question wrong for some reason. So I hit yes.

Well… it decided to download every picture on my cloud since 2013 on my current phone. ALL FUCKIN 23K OF THEM. Yup. So my phone was madd heating up and constantly binging with the “error, you have no more memory” shit again. I decided to reverse this awful idea and in the process I LOST ALL MY PICS FROM AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER but somehow it kept my favs from 2013? Fuckin really?!

I literally don’t understand the optimize feature for photos when it comes to the iPhones and the folders when I go in to transfer them to my laptop are confusing as hell (some folders have ONE PHOTO IN IT, why. Just why.) and I never know how to fix it.

So here I am, with a whole month and a half worth of photos missing, other photos scattered and other photos from 2013 on my device.

WHY ISNT THERE AN OPTION TO JUST KEEP THE PHOTOS I TOOK ON THIS PHONE ON THIS PHONE.

So yeah, I’m pretty stressed out right now.

I think once it hits October I’m going to just wipe my phone and redo everything cause this shit is a mess. And I wanna just cry.

OCD probs.

Fuckin sucks.

Food, Hello, Reflecting

Weekly Recap; Sept 3rd – Sept 9th

The months are getting colder, which is exciting!

And the weather has been perfect here in Texas. I’ve missed real Fall’s!

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; Sept 3rd – Sept 9th”

Hello, Reflecting

Weekly Recap; August 27th – September 2nd

Goodbye August, GOODBYE!

HELLOOOOOOOOOO FALL!

2U by David Guetta (ft. Justin Bieber) has been on repeat like all week. I don’t get how it could be BY someone but obviously The Beibz is the only one speaking on this track lol. That part always confused me! I get that it might be David’s beat but Justin’s on it but still, I’m sure you know what I mean lol.

Continue reading “Weekly Recap; August 27th – September 2nd”

Hello, Reflecting

Six years on WordPress.com \o/

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This popped up on my notifications yesterday and I never really remember when I started this blog so thanks for annually letting me know WordPress.com!

It’s been 6 years since I started this go for anything blog and it’s been a very interesting journey. I can’t say I’ll recap my favorite blog posts because I don’t know if I have any honestly lol! I know I have a few favorite weekly and weekend recaps I use to do back in 2012 when my weekends/weeks heavily were filled with pics of food place I use to go to when I lived in CA the last time but I know they’re also filled with talks of stress, migraines and being sick ALL THE TIME and it’s crazy when you finally NOTICE that the environment and the company you keep can play a huge role in your overall health.

No matter what I did or how I tried to help myself, ultimately the company and the energy you’re around can still mess it all up for you. And that is such a sad and frustrating thing to witness.

I know I talked a lot about how much I hated being married and how shit my marriage was and I still think it was if I’m being honest. I know I started being super active on this blog to combat jealousy and it seems like “combating jealousy” was a very frequent theme in my marriage and the relationship I had after my marriage. And both situations were just sad.

Things that I hope to incorporate on this blog in the future is more positive posts. More posts about what I’m DOING in life. I don’t take AS MUCH pictures as I use to about MY LIFE these days, I mostly take a lot of screenshots. I don’t go on adventures as much and I really hope to change that in the future especially because I’m in a brand new state and there’s so much to be discovered here! I hope to include more posts about how to battle anxiety naturally (and hopefully will stumble on a way to battle migraines naturally if there is a way!) and how to be a better version of yourself.

I know most of this stuff should go on my lifestyle blog and channel [which is HERE in case you’re curious] but I feel like I put too much pressure on myself there to really start writing so maybe if I just start here, some of the posts here will make it there as well. I mean, it’s not a bad idea.

So here’s to another year or two or six.

Thanks WordPress, for being there.